Building Trust
by Starr Rose
Summary: Jesse lives everyday for a little girl who isn't really hers and the twin brother that is the only part left of a lost family. When she stumbles upon the prison, she hopes to find safe haven for her family, but she doesn't plan to meet an angry, over protective redneck.
1. Chapter 1

"Jesse, Jesse wake up and get Arlene." Johnny's voice rang out in the night. My eyes snapped open and my arms circled tighter around the little girl in my arms.

"What is it?" I whispered, already working to unknot the bungie cord that anchored me to the tree.

"Walkers, about a hundred yards, a lot of them."

I started wrapping the bungie cord around my arm as I woke the little girl sleeping in my lap. The sun was just beginning to rise and I could hear the moans of the dead. I held my hand over Arlene's mouth and murmured, "Hey, baby girl, we have to be quiet. The monsters are out here. We have to be quiet, baby."

She nodded sleepily and I heard Johnny drop to the ground almost soundlessly. I passed Arlene down to him and slid down myself. Johnny put her on my back and we used the cords to anchor her to me. He helped me strap my knife and machete to my thighs and tied a blanket around me and Arlene, hiding her from view. I slid the clip into my Beretta and slipped it into the front of my pants. Johnny handed me my bow and grabbed our bags off the ground. We began moving as stealthily as we could away from the walkers. We seemed in the clear and I was grateful, until I spotted the walkers ahead of us.

"Johnny, turn left."

We turned as one, only to spot the herd moving towards us. It was clear they had caught our scent. A partially decomposed woman in a tattered blue dress opened her mouth and let loose the screaming, groaning roar that only walkers could release. Johnny shoved me towards the right and we began to run, no longer caring about stealth. Arlene wrapped her arms tighter around my throat and whimpered but didn't scream. She knew how important it was to not draw attention to ourselves. She knew how important it was to be quiet. Johnny panted, "There was a prison about half a mile. Guard towers. This is a herd. Faster walkers up ahead."

I yanked the Beretta from my pants and turned off the safety. Sure enough, there were walkers ahead. They were faster, fresher, recently turned. I popped three and Johnny took one out with his hatchet. We ran and ran. We could see the towers rising above the trees. We were on the home stretch. Then a walker came out from behind a tree and Johnny spun to take it out. He'd done it a thousand times. That time, the ground slid out from under his foot and I heard the sickening crunch of his leg breaking. He went down and I shot the walker before I froze. He was just lying there on the ground, staring up at me with desperate green eyes and I knew what he was going to say before the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Jesse, go," he ordered.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Is Johnny hurt real bad?" Arlene whispered.

"He's fine," I growled. I leaned down and helped him up.

"Jess, I can't run like this. You and Arlene need to go."

"We can make it! I'm not leaving you!" I threw his arm around my shoulder and began limping forward. I shot at the walkers and kept moving forward. It was so much. Arlene's weight on my back, Johnny and our gear on my left side, and the weight of the gun in my hand. My breath came out in harsh gasps. My throat burned but I kept moving. We broke through the trees and I could see the gates. Walkers were sparse but they were still there. Then, I saw it. I saw him. A person at the gate. A real person. A live person.

"Help!" I screamed, quickening our pace, dragging Johnny. He was becoming weaker and weaker, putting more of his weight on me. Two more people appeared beside the man at the gate. A little boy and a larger man with a crossbow.

"Please!" I cried. I put a bullet in the head of a walker in overalls. Tears poured down my face. They stared at me. "Please! I have a little girl!"

I reached behind me and pulled the blanket to reveal Arlene's face. I plead, "At least take her. Please take her!"

The man with a crossbow reacted first. In a thick country accent, he yelled, "She has a little girl, Rick! She has a little girl!"

"Daryl, you know…"

"Open this fuckin' gate or I'll shoot you, Rick. She has a little girl!"

"Just take Arlene," I begged. "Please!"

Johnny slumped against me, his energy expended. The screaming attracted more walkers. They weren't going to open the gates. I was going to die with Johnny in my arms and Arlene on my back. Arlene was going to be torn to pieces. My little Arlene was going to become a walker. A mother fucking walker and Johnny and I wouldn't be able to put her down like we promised each other we would because we would be fighting her to eat people. Maybe the people within the fence. That made me feel a little better. Maybe we would eat the bastards that denied us access. That killed my little girl. I fired and my gun clicked hollowly. Blackness danced at the edge of my vision. I heard the sliding of a gate and Johnny's weight left my side. I screamed and reached out for him. I couldn't lose him. I was pulled forward and a metallic clang echoed behind me. A pain of bare, sweaty arms wrapped around me. I sobbed, "Johnny, Arlene."

"Are fine," a hick voice promised. "Yer little girl and yer boyfriend are fine."

"Not boyfriend," I mumbled. "Brother. Twin brother."


	2. Chapter 2

"Jezze," I snoreted and curled deeper around the tiny person in my arms. "Jezze, wake up please."

"So warm," I groaned. "Coupla more minutes."

"But, Jezze."

My sleep addled mind snapped awake in a second at the pleading in Arlene's voice. I was laying on a stone floor, covered in fleece blankets with Arlene wrapped in my arms. I jerked upwards and found myself restrained by a sleeping bag. Johnny and I didn't own sleeping bags for that reason. They were too constricting. Especially when most of our time was spent in trees. My eyes danced around the room, noticing the strangers around me as I kicked my way out of the sleeping bag. There were five in the room. A thin man with gray-blue eyes and graying hair. An Asian holding the hand of a pretty brunette. A thin woman with cropped gray hair standing behind the crossbow man. I grabbed Arlene and pushed her behind me and reached to my thigh, only to find my hunting knife gone.

"We took your weapons," the gray haired man announced with a voice of authority.

"All of them?" I snarled.

"We assumed there were more in your bags. We didn't check. We just want to be sure you're not a threat to our group. We'll return them to you when you leave, or if they're needed during your stay here."

"They're needed now."

"You don't need them right now. While you stay here, you'll be protected." I had an extreme distrust for this man. Johnny, Arlene, and I had found ourselves in groups of other survivors many times before and it had never turned out well.

"Well we'll just make sure not to stay long. Where's Johnny? Where's my brother?" I demanded.

"He's with Herschel, our doctor. We set his leg and we checked him for bites. We checked all of you for bites."

"You did what?" I spun around and grabbed Arlene. I dropped to my knees and ran my hands over her arms and face. I whispered frantically, "Are you okay, baby girl? Are you alright? Nobody touched you?"

"Touched her?" A hick accent demanded. "Ya think we're perverts or somethin'? She's a lil' girl!"

I spun around and leapt up, keeping Arlene behind me. I snarled, "Did any of you bastards touch my little girl?"

"I was the one who checked her," the older woman spoke up. "Nobody touched your little girl. The men here aren't like that."

"Men in a lot of places 'aren't like that,'" I said harshly. "Where's my brother?"

"Where's yer damn gratitude?" crossbow man spoke up.

"Jezze." Arlene pulled on my pants leg. I looked down at her and was struck by my tiny angel. "Jezze, they're nice people. Aryls are very nice."

I sighed and relaxed. I reached down and lifted her up and settled her onto my hip. I hugged her close to my body and buried my face into her golden hair. Somebody had unbraided it and brushed it. Crossbow man was right. I owed them gratitude. They saved my brother and my little girl when I'd only asked them to save Arlene. Tears pricked at my eyes and I turned to the people. I agreed, "You're right. Thank you. You saved our lives. All three of us. I was just asking you to save Arlene. I owe you my life, but that doesn't really matter to me. You saved Arlene, and my brother. That means more to me than you could ever know."

"We know about the value of children," the woman promised. "We lost my daughter."

The crossbow man looked down. I assumed they were a couple. I said sincerely, "I'm sorry. I couldn't imagine."

I hugged Arlene a little tighter to my body.

"It's okay. My name's Carol. Arlene tells us your name is Jesse."

"How much did she talk?" I asked. "She's usually pretty shy."

"Daryl got her talking," Carol smiled, nodding towards the crossbow man. I studied him nervously and hugged Arlene closer to me. Crossbow man, Daryl, wasn't as tall as some men I'd known, Johnny and Eric for examples. He had sandy brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was scruffy and he was wearing a plaid red shirt with the sleeves cut off. The arms that the sleeveless shirt revealed were massive. Had it been the time before the apocalypse and the time before my little girl, I would have found him unbearably sexy. But that was a different life.

"D…d…Daryl D…d…Dixon," Arlene stammered with focus. She had problems with her D's. "Daryle Dixon."

They went around the room and introduced themselves. Rick was the leader, the one who spoke the most. Glenn was the Asian and Maggie was his girlfriend.

"We're going to take you to your brother. His leg was a clean break but it will take about two months to heal," Rick informed me. "You can stay here until he heals. But if we have to evacuate, we will not take you with us."

"As soon as Johnny heals, we're gone," I agreed.

They led me from the cell block, into another with Arlene on my hip. Johnny was lying on a bed in a cell with his leg resting on a belt that was tied to the bars of the bunk above him. He was chatting amicably with a young women holding a baby and a one legged old man. Johnny looked up at us and grinned.

"Sis, they have water!" he cried out. It had been weeks since we'd had any sort of water that wasn't for drinking. I knew he was excited about the prospect of cleaning up. I smiled for a second before I broke down. I moved to his bedside and dropped to my knees. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed.

"Come on, Jess," he soothed as his rough hand smoothed through my hair. "I'm fine. It's barely a scratch. Calm down. You're scarin' Arlene."

I cried for a few more moments before anger set in. I sat up and slapped his chest. It felt good so I did it again.

"Ow!" He yelped. "Come on, Jess! I'm injured. Quit hittin' me!"

"Don't you ever tell me to leave you behind. Don't ever do that again, you asshole! You were pretty much asking me to put a fuckin' bullet in your head!" I continued to smack him anywhere I could reach. "We lost too much! Dad, Eric, Grandpa! Do you think I can do this on my own? What were you thinkin', you fuckin' moron!?"

I felt big rough hands on my shoulder, pulling me away from him. I turned around and swung on Daryl Dixon, putting everything I could into hitting him as hard as I could in the face. He ducked and I growled in frustration. "How can I get outside? I need to walk! Arlene needs to walk. We need fresh air."

"Come on, ya crazy bitch," Daryl snarled. "I oughta feed you to the damn walkers for swingin' on me."

I lifted Arlene up on my hip again and stated, "Baby girl, we are mad at Uncle Johnny."

"'Cause his leg got broke?" she asked solemnly.

"No," I answered, "because he is an idiot."

She nodded. I followed Daryl Dixon outside. I sat Arlene in the dirt and sat in the grass behind her with her between my legs. A young boy in a sheriff's hat and a man in prison wear were patrolling the fence.

"The little boy's Carl, Rick's boy. The man's Axel. Don't know too much 'bout him," Daryl said slowly. He remained standing behind me. "Youn' girl inside was Beth. Old man is Herschel. With them takin' care o' yer brother, he'll be on his feet in no time. Baby is Judith, Carl's sister. Call her Lil Ass Kicker myself."

"Good to know," I said blankly. Arlene was catching grass in her hands and studying it. I took some blades and began weaving them together, making her a grass green crown.

"You and yours'll be here for a while so I figured you might want to know."

"Thanks."

"You should set a better example for that little girl. Be a little nicer to the guy that saved yer asses."

At the mention of Arlene, I rose up quickly, dropping the grass woven crown into her lap. She stared up at me for a minute but I held my hand out, palm down and she knew that it was time for her to remain silent.

"You don't know me. You don't tell me what kind of example to set for **my** little girl." I was nose to nose with him with my finger poking into his chest. "You don't know me. You don't know her."

"I know she ain't really yer little girl."

I stopped and froze. "Excuse me."

"She ain't really yer little girl. Her hair don' match yers and her eyes are different colers too. Nothin' on her matches you. Ya got dark hair, green eyes. Ya didn' have a lil blue eyed, blonde haired girl."

"You don't know shit. That little girl is mine. She's been mine since before this apocalypse."

"But she's not yers. Who does she really belong to?"

I thought about hitting him. I thought about swinging on him and just tearing him to pieces. But that didn't exactly present the kind of gratitude I needed to present to those people. So I just turned and sat on the ground with Arlene between my legs again. I pulled her tight against my body and breathed in her hair. She smelled like hay. No matter how dirty she got, she always smelled like hay. Johnny and I smelled like shit and walker guts and she smelled like fresh hay. I said over my shoulder, "She belongs to me."


	3. Chapter 3

Damn crazy ass fuckin' women. Always swingin' on me or doin' somethin' that made me feel like I had to do something good for 'em. Carol with Sophia. Made me love Sophia. Then she was just gone and all that was left was Carol. I knew that I should feel something other than friendship for her. I mean, twas the fuckin' apocalypse and we shoulda been shackin' up. Focusin' on some kind of lovin'. We even joked around 'bout foolin' 'round. But we never did. We just laughed 'bout it and went on.

But then there was that girl standin' outside the gate, some dude hangin' offa one shoulder and a baby on her back. Fuckin' doin' her best to fight off anythin' that was comin' at her. No clue how long she'd run with all that weight on her. She was fuckin' exhausted and that baby was gonna get eaten by walkers. All I could think of was Sophia, limpin' outta that barn after all the searchin' we'd done for her. Limpin' out, wantin' to eat me and Carol and anybody else standin' there. All I could think about was Sophia's eyes when Rick shot her. There was nothin' there. None of the lil girl we'd all loved so much. She was gone. I couldn't let that happen to some other lil girl or her momma and daddy. Though, neither of them were really her parents. I knew that as soon as we got them inside the gate and I got a good look at the lil girl. The big girl, Jesse, collapsed on me, just cryin' and pantin' and 'bout damn near to dead and I looked over her shoulder and there were those blue eyes starin' back at me like I was the only thing in the whole damn world. And I looked down at the woman and that messy brown hair and those muddled green eyes and I knew that lil girl didn't belong to her. She couldn't belong to the twin brother either, with his matching eyes and his too big size. But that girl, that Jesse, she was damn near convinced that lil girl was hers.

She woke up swingin' on us. Ready to kill one of us for touchin' her lil girl. I was glad Carol was the one who checked them for bites. Even if we had to take about ten fuckin' weapons off the girl. She had a damn knife stuck in her bra, machete on one thigh, a knife on the other, shit in her boots, and a mother fuckin' Beretta. The girl was packin'. Damn determined to protect that lil girl from whatever was comin' after her. Her brother was a lot friendlier. Johnny and Jesse. Hey even had matchin' twin names. He woke up laughin' and thankin' us. Talkin' up Beth like she was the hottest thing in the world. Playin' with Lil Asskicker. Trustin' us with his sister. Even the lil girl was friendlier than Jesse. Arlene. She walked right up to me and told me that I had cartoon arms. I didn' know what that meant but I let her say it. I let her talk to me. She was a lot smaller than Sophia. A lot younger than Sophia had been. But just as lively. Made me laugh. But I'd never touch a damn kid and I didn' appreciate any stranger accusin' me o' that.

That night, I slipped into the cell where her brother was stayin'. I didn' have patrol duty. I had guest duty. Jesse and Arlene were already in the cell next to her brother's, where Carol made us move her with the argument that we couldn't make the lil girl sleep on the floor. That was true. Jesse was already asleep with Arlene in her arms. I wondered how much sleep Jesse actually got. It was only Jesse and Johnny and Arlene out there. We had a whole group to take turns on watch. They only had the two of them. It was no wonder that the two of them were damn near close to dyin' from exhaustion when they stumbled onto our front door.

I sat on the stool in Johnny's cell and went to work cleanin' my arrows. He had his eyes closed but his breathin' told me that he wasn't asleep. After a few moments, he sighed, "Alright, redneck, wanna tell me what you're doin' in here?"

"Yer callin' me a redneck?" I demanded. "Yer accent is almos' as bad as mine. Nothin' like yer sister's."

"Well, Jess had three years o' college 'fore all this started. She was finishin' up her Junior year when all this shit started."

"Yer sister's a college girl?" I was shocked. Bitch swung on me like she'd been boxing her whole life. She handled the gun and shit like she was made for the damn apocalypse. "How'd she end up wit a kid?"

"Arlene is her little girl," Johnny said stubbornly. I stared at him. Both of the siblings were stubborn as fuck. I thought me and Merle were bad. At least we weren't delusional like those two.

"Look, I know that that lil girl didn't come outta yer sister. She don' look nothin' like her and she calls her Jesse all the time. Ya don't call yer momma by her real name."

"'S the apocalypse. The world's gone to shit. Rules there used to be don't exist anymore, Dixon. How d'you know what any kid should call their parents?"

"I was round two of them all the time. They called their ma and pa mom and dad like kids should. That lil girl does not belong to yer sister. Where did you two get her?"

"That lil girl has belonged to Jesse since before all this shit started. Arlene is Jesse's fiance's daughter."

"Fiance?" That sure shocked the shit outta me. "Where is he?"

Johnny shrugged. "Ya think we know? If we knew, he'd be with us. Shit fell apart pretty quickly. For the first part of this, we were holed up in our granddaddy's farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere. When shit went down, we went and got Eric, Jess's fiancé, and Jess. Arlene was with Eric. Jess might not be Arlene's real mom but she did a helluva lot more fer her than her real mom ever did. Jess has been with Arlene since she was two years old."

"What happened to the lil girl's dad?"

"I better start from the beginning."

"Ya should."

"First though, why the fuck do ya care so damn much about my sister and that lil girl?"

I stared at him and replied, "Because she's here in my house, with my family and I need to know 'bout ya and yours. I'm not lookin' to marry your damn sister or even sleep with her. Too much damn attitude for me. I just want to know."

"Fine. Eric was her fiancé. Were together since she was a freshman in college. Real cute. He proposed when she was a sophomore. He loved her to high heaven. She went to college an hour away from us but only 'bout twenty minutes away from him and she was supposed to move in with him when she finished this year of college. Arlene was real excited about it. She was always askin' if she could call Jess Momma but Jess didn't want to take her real mom's place. Even though Kyra was a piece of shit. Eric's first love and all that. Left when Arlene was a year old. Lived in town but barely ever saw her daughter." I fought the urge to spit on the floor. Shitty parents pissed me off. Even in an apocalypse, sounded like the kid was better off with Jesse. "Jess loved them both a lot though. When shit went down, we called Jess and told her to have her shit ready. Then we called Eric and told him to have his and Arlene's shit together. We grabbed them and went straight to the college. Shit hadn't completely fallen apart by that point. We got Jess and Eric and Arlene and we went back to our granddad's farmhouse.

"It was way out of the way. Had a pond and Grandpa got his water from a well so it was always really good. Had some chickens and a couple cows for dairy. Grandpa and Dad basically had an arsenal just in case. Grandpa had about fifty guns, Dad had more. Lots of amo. We were well stocked up. Good to go. We could stay there. The nearest neighbors weren't for miles. It was good. It was nice. Jess was doing research. Eric was helping out. It was about three days in when the broadcasts started and Eric got freaked out. He was worried about Arlene's mom and he left. He kissed Jess goodbye, promised Arlene that he'd come back, and then he left. We haven't seen him since there. We were at the farmhouse for months before the first walker made it through the trees. Five months and we didn't see one damn walker. But Dad was out in the field and one made it through the trees and he had his back to it. He didn't even know it was coming at him. It bit his shoulder.

"He made it back to the house, but it was too late. He had the fever. We all knew it. It was coming hard. It was like one day he was perfectly fine and the next, he was biting at us, trying to kill us. Grandpa put him down and we took him out back and buried him. It seemed like two days didn't even pass before they were on us. All over the place. Grandpa packed the truck for us while they were comin' in. Told us he loved us. That we needed to take Arlene and go. Then they were all over the place. They were swarmin' from all directions. Grandpa went down. Jess was the one who put a bullet in his head as we drove off. It killed her for days but she didn't take time to cry 'cause she didn't want Arlene to know what was goin' on. Since then, we been on the road constantly. We move from place to place. If you backtrack across our map, you'll find sites set up."

"Sites?" I asked.

"Yeah. We would stay in a house in a random town for a night or two. When it was time to move on, Jess would take some stuff and store it up in the attic or some random hidin' place, leave a pile in the livin' room so that any looters that came along wouldn't search further. We'd backtrack up and down from north to south through the winter. Now that it's warmer, we were travelin' again. Our car broke down so we were tryin' to make it through the woods, get to another town. Get to another car. We got swarmed. I'll never be able to thank you enough for draggin' us in here. For takin' care of me and my sister and my niece. 'Cause that's what Arlene is. She's my neice. She's Jess's little girl. So don't ever tell me or Jess that Arlene doesn't belong to Jess. Because she does. That is her little girl."

I nodded all solemn. Made sense that the lil girl belonged to Jesse now. Made sense that she got real mad at me and hollered at me for tryin' to tell her that the kid didn' belong to her. It'd be like tryin' to tell Glenn that Maggie wasn' his. It'd be like tryin' to tell Carl that his dad was off his rocker.

"Makes sense," I said simply. "Thought ya guys just snatched up a kid somewhere and she was just protective of her. Kin I ask ya 'nother question?"

"Go ahead."

"She freaked out today. Thought one of us touched her lil girl. Thought one of us was some kinda pervert. What happened out there? She said that ya guys have been in other groups 'fore. Why'd she freak out like that?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't know why I'm talkin' to you so much," he grumbled. "Jess would skin me alive if she found out I was tellin' all our secrets. You gotta understand that she don't really trust people. She's got a lot of reason not to trust people, too. But you're kinda easy to talk to. Reckon it's 'cause you're so quiet. And 'cause you were the one made your buddy let us into the gates in the first place."

"What 'bout her lil girl?" I asked, both amused and confused by Johnny's willingness to talk. My own brother never wanted to talk to anybody 'bout anything but sex and drugs.

"We were on the road, on our way to a town when we got stopped by a group. We'd never encountered a group of people before. It was excitin', to know that there were others like us. We never thought there'd be others. The group was three dudes. One was in his thirties. He was the leader, like in your group. The other two were teenagers. Jess was happy to see people. They told us how they'd been survivin' and we agreed to camp with them for the night. Jess was by the fire, sleepin'. I was supposed to be watchin' Arlene. But I got to bullshittin' with one of the teenage boys. I wasn't payin' attention. Thought she was asleep. Jess woke up 'cause she heard somethin'. Freaked out. Couldn't find Arlene. Started hollerin'. Didn't care about walkers. She found Arlene in the old man's tent. Nothin' had happened yet, thank God. He was takin' his pants off still. She shot him. Didn't hesitate. Didn't think nothin' 'bout it. She shot him in the head like he was a fuckin' walker. Asked her once if she felt bad 'bout it. Said she put down a rabid dog. Jess has never trusted anybody near Arlene again. She won't sleep without that little girl in her arms. She won't be awake without her in her sight. That little girl is her life."

I felt sick. Somebody who wanted to touch a damn lil girl deserved to be killed. I understood her fear of anybody bein' near her lil girl. I said in approval, "Fuckin' pervert deserved to be shot. Deserved worse. Ya don't do that to a lil girl. Ya don't do that to any girl. Women….women are meant to be protected. Not right."

Johnny nodded in agreement. I ordered, "Sleep. Ya gotta heal. Yer sister don' wanna be here no longer than she has to."

Johnny laughed. He promised, "She'll grow on you. Right now, you want to kill her. She's stubborn. Strong willed. And won't ever admit she's wrong. But she grows on you. 'Fore too long, you won't be able to imagine life without her. Eric told me that once."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I shut his cell door quietly as I could when I left. 'Fore I went up to my perch, I looked into the cell where Jesse and Arlene were curled up in a ball. Jesse was wrapped around her wit Arlene pressed into the inside of the bed. The lil girl's face was pressed into Jesse's neck and she was makin' little snorin' noises. Reminded me of Carol and Sophia. 'Cept I never looked at Carol's ass when I was peekin'. Girl had a nice ass fer a bitch. Like she could just sense somebody lookin' at her, she lifted her head and peeked up at me. Her mossy green eyes were heavy lidded but I could tell she'd kill in a second's notice. She snarled, "Whatchu lookin' at fucker?"

I snorted. Her prissy attitude fell away when she was half asleep. She had the same accent as her brother. Same slow drawl as me and Merle had. Not as thick but it was there. Slow and hard to get through if ya weren't native to it. I murmured, "Not lookin' at nothin' special. Just makin' sure yer not gonna go batshit crazy on any of us. Ya lil fuckin' psycho."

"Go to Hell, Dixon. Take your crossbow and shove it up that white trash ass of yours." The growl in her voice wasn't sincere as it would've been had she been more awake. "Quit lookin' at my ass and patrol these corridors like ya know what you're fuckin' doin'. Makin' me doubt keepin' my family here."

I hid a smile and walked off. Couldn' have anybody thinkin' I liked the annoyin' self righteous bitch. Plus, if she'da been serious 'bout me not knowin' what the fuck I was doin' she'da done it her damn self.

It had been a week since we arrived and they were giving me my weapons back because they were going to let me patrol with Daryl. The hillbilly had been patient with us. He wasn't polite and he had no qualms about cussing me out, but he was good with Arlene and he hadn't hit me or my brother. That was more than I could say for myself. I'd hit Johnny a few times in that week. A couple while I was still mad at him and once because I heard him tell the girl Beth about me getting drunk in high school and him having to help me down off the barn loft because I forgot how to use a ladder. Other than that, we got along just fine and I liked the group of people alright. I didn't trust them enough to leave Arlene alone with them, but they were okay people.

Carl was a sweet kid and he didn't mind Arlene asking him questions like four year olds had the tendency to do. Beth was a good girl. She kept Johnny occupied most days while she was taking care of Judith. I could tell Johnny was taking a liking to her. Axel was alright for a prisoner. He winked at me a few times and insinuated that it would be good to get together, but he didn't try to push the envelope. He just left me alone when I told him to get lost. The leader, Rick, stayed away from us most of the time. I could tell that he didn't have any problems with us leaving as quickly as possible. Glenn didn't seem to either but he and Maggie were polite to us. I caught Maggie watching Johnny with Beth a few times, just making sure her little sister was safe with my brother. Herschel was friendly. He let Arlene sit on his knee and he told her stories about his farm and stories from the Bible. Even if I wasn't religious, I didn't mind Arlene knowing a little bit about the Bible. I planned to let her decide whether she wanted to believe in God or not. I just didn't hold much stock in a deity who let the dead eat my only family. I guess most of the group in the prison didn't either. Carol and Daryl were the strangest couple I'd ever seen. They would stand close to each other with their arms barely touching, as if they were comforted by slight touch. But they didn't seem affected by each other in _that way_ at all. Maggie and Glenn looked at each other like they were the only people in the world. I used to never be able to stand around Eric without breathing in his scent like it was the air that kept me alive. They looked like they were just hanging out like friends. I just figured that they weren't the PDA kind.

"You're Kim Possible," Arlene giggled as I got dressed. I was clean for the first time in weeks. Truly clean. The water in the prison showers was freezing cold but I smelled better and there was no gore or dirt on me. I was dressed in green, stained cargo pants and a green wife beater. My Beretta was tucked into the back of my pants and my machete was strapped to one leg and my hunting knife was strapped to the other. My hair was braided down my back like I braided hers.

"Nah. Not Kim Possible," Johnny said from the cell bed. I was standing in the doorway, leaning against the bars and staring in at Beth, Judith, Johnny, and Arlene. Beth was holding Arlene on her lap and Johnny was holding Judith. It was almost like a little family. It was unsettling. Johnny continued, "She looks like Laura Croft."

"Who?" Beth and Arlene asked at the same time.

"Really? Ya don't know the Tomb Raider?" Johnny demanded his jaw dropping. "Angelina Jolee. She's awesome."

"Is that a movie?" Beth asked.

"Yes. You'll have to…." I knew he was going to say that she had to watch it someday. That was Johnny's thing with movies. He loved movies. He went to the movie theater in town a few times a month on dates. He had no shortage of girls who wanted to go with him. But his sentence was cut short when he realized that there was no more seeing movies or shows or going on dates to the movie theater. Shit sucked.

"Thanks, bro. Keep an eye on Arlene for me. I'll be back in tonight."

"You're goin' out?" Arlene asked, her little eyes getting big. "We leavin'? You're not takin' me?"

I reminded myself to sit down with her and teach her pronunciation. She was slipping out of the 'your' like 'oar' and into the 'yer' that Daryl and Johnny preferred. The one that I slipped into when I was tired. The apocalypse did not mean the end of civil conversation. She rushed off of Beth's lap and ran to wrap her arms around my leg. I informed her, "Baby girl, I'll just be outside with Daryl. You have to stay in here with Beth and Johnny and the baby. I'll be back tonight."

"Not leaving?"

"No, not leaving. I'd never leave without you and Uncle Johnny. I'll be back. I promise."

I knelt down to her level and hugged her tight. I promised again, "I'll be back."

She nodded solemnly at me and I kissed her on the forehead. She hugged me tight and when I let go of her I spun around and crashed into Daryl. He reached out and steadied me with one hand on my arm. He stared down at me, those crystal blue eyes boring into mine. He ordered, "Come on then. We're on patrol and we ain't got all damn day."

"Don't cuss around Arlene," I snapped.


	5. Chapter 5

He rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He just spun on his heel and I followed him out, trying not to miss the feeling of Arlene in my arms or on my back. I followed him out to the beginning of the gate. As we walked, I surveyed the area. The grassy lot was huge. It was the biggest safe place I'd seen since we'd been on the farm. I missed my grandpa's farm. It was all fenced in so that it was hard for walkers to get to it, and there was a swing set for Arlene to play on. I realized then that my little girl was almost five years old and she'd never ridden on a bike. I realized that she was almost five.

"What's the date?" I asked suddenly. We were halfway down the first side of the fence and walkers were gathering on the outer gate.

"Why the fuck would I know that?" Daryl grunted. "'s the damn apocalypse, girly. Ain't looked at a calendar barely my whole life. Didn' change when this shit started."

"I was just asking, dickhead," I growled back. "You didn't have to bite my head off."

He looked up at me and then looked over at the outer gate, where walkers were gathering. He looked back at me and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. I noticed he had a little mole on the corner of his mouth. I knew what he was thinking and I reached up to shove him gently. He said softly, "Wasn' bitin' yer head off. They will though."

I snorted and we kept walking in silence. We made it to the end of the gate before he asked, "So what'd ya need to know 'bout the date fer?"

"Well, I think it's about March or April now, which means that it's almost Arlene's birthday. Which means that it's almost mine and Johnny's birthday."

"Oh." We made it around another line of fence before he asked, "How old will she be?"

"Five."

"Oh. How old will ya be?"

"We'll be 21."

He nodded and we continued to walk in silence. We made one round around the fence and I followed him to the turned over semi truck that was laying on its side in the grass. He climbed up onto the side of the trailer and held his hand down to pull me up. I climbed up with him and we sat down next to each other. The sun beat down on us but a cool spring breeze blew over us. I appreciated being able to sit out in the sun. It had been weeks since I'd been able to just stop for a moment. We sat out there for about an hour before I asked, "So how old are you, Dixon?"

He was silent for a long moment before he finally said slowly, "Way too old fer ya."

I laughed loudly, drawing the attention of several of the walkers moving around the fence. He looked over at me and I informed him, "Jeez, Dixon. You're not _that_ attractive. I wasn't coming onto you. I was asking a polite question."

He grunted and we fell back into silence. I leaned back on my elbows and tilted my head back. It was ten minutes before he spoke again. "_That_ attractive."

"What?" I asked.

"Ya don't find me _that_ attractive. Means ya do find me attractive."

I rolled my eyes. "Really, Dixon? Took you that long to come up with that?"

"Whatever. Ya think I'm cute."

"Want to learn how to speak English?"

"What? I already speak English, ya lil fuckin' psycho."

"That nickname is starting to grow on me, Dixon."

"Come on now, what are ya goin' on 'bout wit English? I speak English."

"You speak Georgian, you hillbilly."

"Georgia's in America, college girl."

I rolled my eyes. "I just don't want Arlene running around cussing and saying 'yer' and 'ya'll'."

"Does it really matter?" I lifted my head up to look over at him. He was staring out across the field. "Known people who spoke real perty. Didn' stop 'em from dyin' in the world. Ain't like it was last year. Don' matter if ya talk like me or talk like ya. Walkers don't care where yer accent's from. Georgia meat's just like college meat."

"Nah," I disagreed. "I'm sweeter."

He rolled his eyes and ordered, "Come on, we gotta make 'nother loop round the gate. Ya don' get to sit on yer ass while we're on watch."

I climbed down from the truck with him and made another loop. For most of the day, we stayed almost silent. Then, Carol brought lunch out to us and Daryl helped her up on the side of the truck. She handed us both hunks of meat and a bowl of beans. She said sweetly, "It's deer meat. Daryl brought it back to us a few days ago. Daryl's our hunter."

I smiled at the way she bragged proudly on him. He blushed and looked down at his thighs. "Not that good."

"Maybe you can go with him sometime," Carol continued cheerily. "Your brother tells us that you're quite the hunter. Poor boy said he never had the heart for it before the outbreak. He said you used to do all of the hunting when you lived at home."

"He's good at it now though. He just didn't have enough motivation before."

"'m not takin' her huntin' wit me, Carol," Daryl growled.

"Oh, you'll have to go before long, Daryl, and if she's good she can be helpful. We need things for Judith soon anyway. You'll have to go out and visit a nearby town."

"I go alone."

"Daryl," she said softly, calling his attention up to her. He looked up and she said sweetly, "It'll make me feel better if you take somebody like Jesse."

He sneered at her but sighed, "I'll think 'bout it, Carol. But I gotta warn ya, the lil fuckin' psycho said 'm attractive. Might try somethin' on me when we get into town."

I paled. I didn't want anything to do with Daryl Dixon but I didn't want him telling his girlfriend anything of the sort. People got a lot more protective of what they believed was theirs during the apocalypse. I said quickly, "I did not say your man was attractive, not that he's not attractive. But that isn't what I said."

"My man?" Carol repeated.

"'m not Carol's man," Daryl grunted.

Carol giggled and informed me, "We're friends. I tried to get the country boy to take me a time or two but he's a good man. We're just not it for each other."

Daryl blushed again at the mention of sex with Carol.

"Oh. Well I still didn't say that he was attractive," I said grumpily. I moved my leg and kicked out at Daryl. "And I wouldn't try anything on you, you dumb hick. I can catch tail without having to force myself on anyone."

"Pickins are awful slim now days, ya lil fuckin psycho," he growled as he dodged my leg.

"I could still find better pickings than you."

"Bitch."

"Stupid fucking redneck."

Carol smiled and asked, "So you are going into town with him, right? Because he needs to go in two days. We'll make a list for you. We need stuff for Judith, food, and medication. You can go to town and hunt on the way back. Take a truck."

"She never even said she was gonna go, Carol."

"I need some stuff for Arlene. I'll go into town for that."

"Ay, ask Carol that question ya asked me earlier."

She turned to me curiously. I asked, "Do you know the date?"

"Well, it's the first week of April, or about that. Does that mean something?"

"Arlene's birthday is on the fifteenth. She'll be five. I just wanted to let her know that she's five or do something nice for her."

"Well you can pick her something up when you go into town with Daryl." Carol patted my leg comfortingly and started to stand up. She bent over to kiss Daryl on the head and then leaned over to press a quick kiss to my forehead. "Make sure you don't sit directly in the sun for too long. We don't have aloe."


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl stood up and grabbed her hand to help swing her down. He watched protectively as she walked away. I watched him and he noticed. He growled, "Don' be thinkin' anythin' of it. 'm not lookin' at 'er ass. Tried to feel that way 'bout Carol. Just don'. Don' know why."

I shrugged. "I don't really have that problem. Most people assume Johnny and I are together so they leave me alone."

"Good reason to have yer brother wit ya. My brother never did much for me other than causin' trouble. Had his back though an he had mine."

"It's what brothers do."

I finished eating and lay back on the side of the truck. Half an hour later, I got up and followed him off the truck to do rounds. Most of the rest of the day was spent in silence until we were walking up towards the cell block. He asked quietly, "So whatja go to college fer anyway?"

"Environmental engineering and science with a minor in biology."

"Whadda fuck does that even mean?"

"It means that I know anatomy, wind mills, and solar panels."

"So yer fuckin' useful!"

"I could be if I had some equipment. I could get you guys hot water, stitch you up, and get you a small solar set up, it would have to be something quick to pack up and easy to move."

"So like electricity and stuff? We'd have energy?" His voice rose in volume. He was excited.

"If I could get the right equipment. Most towns have some kind of solar nowadays. Bigger towns at least."

"I'll talk ta Rick 'bout it. We have ta go into town in a couple days anyway an I'll tell Rick we're gonna get some other stuff while we're in town. Some stuff for whatever ya gotta do. And a birthday present for yer lil girl."

Tomb Raider fer sure. Her brother and her lil girl were talkin' 'bout who she looked like. Definitely Tomb Raider. Those pants on her ass were God's gift to Earth. If Merle'd been there, he'da been on that ass in seconds. I was kinda glad he wasn't there. She'da slapped the hell outta him if he'da said or did anything in fronta Arlene.

I talked ta Rick after doin' patrol wit Jesse that night. He said it was alright fer me to take Jesse inta town and ta gather up some stuff fer hot water. The prospect was excitin' ta all of us. Hot water meant real clean clothes and real hot showers and maybe some real hot food sometimes. I didn' wanna take her in the first place but Carol made me so the lil bitch might as well be useful.

The day 'fore we were supposed ta leave, I watched Jesse play wit Arlene and Carl in the field. Carl didn' get near enough chances to be a lil kid. It was kinda funny watchin Jesse romp wit Carl in the field. She put Arlene up on her back an let Carl rush her. He'd get close and she'd push him away or put him in a headlock fer a second or two 'fore she let him go again. She was good at fightin' wit the lil girl's weight on her back. It was like she was better off wit the extra weight. I watched her fer a few minutes 'fore I headed back inside to sit wit her brother and Beth and Lil Asskicker. Johnny looked up at me and asked, "You gonna take care of my sister tomorrow, right?"

"I'll bring her back in one piece," I agreed.

He nodded an that was that. The next day, I let Carol hug me and watched Jesse sayin' bye to Johnny and Arlene. After they said goodbye, Carol gave her a lil hug too and patted her on the back. We climbed into the pickup truck and went on our way, wit her strapped to the nines and me wit my crossbow. Rick an Axel opened the gate fer us as we drove out an I asked, "So what are we lookin' for when we get into town anyway?"

"A college or a hospital," she replied.

"Why? I thought we had ta get energy stuff. Wouldn' a machine place be more helpful?"

"It could be. But most colleges and hospitals went green at the turn of the century. They'll be some panels on the roofs, which is what we need. I'll be able to get up on the roofs if you'll cover me."

"Search fer medicine, stuff fer Judith, stuff fer yer lil girl first. Food, water, stuff like that. Then we get the energy stuff. 'S not as important as the rest of it. Don' need ta risk yer life fer hot water."

"I won't be risking my life, Dixon. I'm amazing at climbing and I know how to fight."

"Don' matter. Still be a risk. Yer not doin' it."

"You are one dumb redneck."

"An yer still a lil fuckin psychopath. My trip, my rules."

We rode the rest of the way in silence. I knew I'd pissed her off. I didn' care. She wasn' gonna put herself in trouble when she was out wit me. Bad enough I had to take her in the first place. I wasn' gonna be the one to go back to her brother an the lil girl and tell them that she hadn't made it. We parked at the edge of town an climbed down out of the truck. She met me aroun the front of the hood an stared at the town stretched out in front of us fer a long minute. Then she turned to me an asked, "Dixon, I need a favor from you."

"What?"

"If they surround me, if they take me down, if they bite me, shoot me. In the head. Don't take me back to the prison. Don't let my brother or Arlene see me. Shoot me and leave me here." She sounded so sure when she said it. Like there weren't any pain in her voice and her eyes didn' well up just a lil bit.

"Can' leave ya here."

"Why not, hillbilly?"

"We bury the ones we care 'bout. 's our rule. But don' worry 'bout it. I ain't gonna let ya get bit or get surrounded. Now come on."


	7. Chapter 7

He was silent. Completely silent. I'd never seen anything like it in my entire life. It was almost beautiful. He crouched low to the ground with his crossbow loaded and his muscles taut. Even Johnny, Daddy, and I, with all of our practice in the woods and with all of our hunting had never been like that. We'd never been that quiet before in our entire lives. A twig would always snap or a leaf would rustle. But not with Daryl. It was like things knew to be silent around him and they refused to disobey him. I simply followed in awe. My machete in one hand and my Beretta tucked down the back of my jeans.

He led me to the front of a superstore, shooting the walkers lumbering around the front and then leading me inside quietly. When we were inside, he did a quick sweep of the store to make sure it was safe and then turned to me to whisper, "Yer pick of the store, psycho. Try ta find some canned good and good shot. I'ma look for water and stuff fer Judith. If ya get inta any kinda trouble, holler at me. I mean it too. Don' be thinkin' yer a badass and getting' yerself hurt. Understand?"

"I get it, Daryl." He nodded and started to head off to the left. I grabbed his arm and he turned to me with his eyebrow raised. I found myself slipping back into the accent that matched Johnny's as I teased, "Ya didn' add fuckin' to psycho this time. Think 'm growin' on ya."

"In yer dreams." He turned to the left and walked away. I turned to the right and went to the canned food section. Most of it had been picked over when the apocalypse had started. There wasn't much. But, at that time, people hadn't known enough not to be picky. They thought they needed to live off of canned food for a week or two in the woods and then they would be fine. So there were a few dinged up cans of creamed corn, a lot of peas, kidney beans, and random things. It was only about twenty five cans but I knew Daryl would appreciate it, in his own way. I packed as much as I could into my bag and sighed as I lifted it. Carrying Arlene wasn't a big deal, but a mass of cans shifting and slamming into my spine was awful. I piled the rest of the cans carefully so that Daryl could get them and made my way over to the kid section of the store.

There were so many clothes. It had been so long that I had forgotten what it was like to just go clothes shopping. After I'd been with Eric for about half a year, I hadn't been able to stop buying stuff for Arlene. Kyra and Eric hadn't minded. He was glad to have somebody help with his little girl and Kyra was too busy being high out of her mind. I worked at the college about twenty hours a week and it wasn't great pay but most of my stuff was paid for through scholarships so I didn't care. I just wanted to buy everything for Arlene. It had only been six months and she was like my little girl.

I started looking through the clothes, estimating Arlene's size and thinking about Carl's too. The boy was young but growing like a weed. He'd need new clothes too. I lifted a blue shirt with a butterfly on it when I saw it. It was a pink shirt that had red letters reading, 'Daddy's Little Girl' emblazoned across the front. I lifted it up to the light and felt the first tears trickle down my face. My relationship with Eric had been perfect. We never fought, we never argued about anything, and he was never jealous. He was just so happy that I was there all the time. He was so happy to have someone. And then, he was gone. Arlene would never be Daddy's little girl. She'd never be Mommy's little girl. Because as much as I wanted to be, I just wasn't her mommy and her daddy was most likely dead. I buried my face into the shirt and sobbed, trying to quiet my tear, trying to still my shaking. I was trying so hard that I didn't hear the sound of shuffling feet behind me.

I was still sobbing into the shirt when I felt the hand on my shoulder and I spun around in time to breath in the stench emanating from the walker's open mouth as its mouth moved towards my face. Its mottled, gray flesh hung from its face and it was wearing a tattered green cashier's apron. As it snapped towards my face, I pushed my hands into its chest and shoved hard. My hands sunk a little into the rotted flesh underneath the shirt but once it hit bone I was able to shove him away. He crashed into a metal clothes display and it crashed down. I knew the noise would draw Daryl. I was in the process of yanking my machete away from my thigh when the arrow made its way through the walker's eye. I stared down at it, realizing how close I'd come to death. Realizing that the moment I'd let my guard down, I'd almost been gone. That took me to tears again.

"Ay! Ya can' be don' that now," Daryl's voice rang out closer. "Come on. There's not 'nother one. It was 'hind the deli bar. Missed it durin' my sweep. Come on now, we gotta hurry."

I didn't move. I was frozen. The pink shirt lay on the floor beside the walker. Daryl walked over and yanked his arrow from the walker's eyeball. He looked down at the shirt and up at me, his mouth set in a grim line. He said more gently, "Come on, Jesse. Get what ya need for yer lil girl but we got other stuff we gotta do. Ya gotta get yer stuff so we can go."

I looked up at him and more tears ran down my face. He growled, "Hate cryin' girls. Come 'ere."

He reached over and grabbed me roughly with one arm so he could yank me tight against his body. With the arm that wasn't holding his crossbow he stroked my back and said soothingly, "Ain't good at this shit. Cry if ya gotta but we gotta go."


	8. Chapter 8

"What are you doing?" I asked thickly.

"Comfortin' ya. What the fuck does it look like?" He was clearly uncomfortable and I let loose a giggle. He pushed me away quickly and scowled at me. "Fine then. I won' fuckin' try ta help ya anymore."

He turned to leave and I grabbed his wrist. He yanked it free and I said quickly, "Daryl, I wasn't laughing at you! I'm grateful. I really am. I was laughing at how ridiculous I am. Crying over a damn shirt."

"Thas what ya were cryin' over?!" he exclaimed. "A damn shirt! Thought ya were all tore up cause a the walker. Yer tellin' me ya were cryin' over a damn shirt?"

I glared at him, back to anger at the stupid hillbilly. His one kind moment was dwarfed by his ability to be a complete asshole. "Whatever, Dixon. Let's get our shit and go."

"Whatever, ya lil fuckin' psycho. Get yer shit. Got some stuff for Judith an got those cans ya left out. Where else we goin' on this stupid ass trip?"

"Is there a hospital near here or not, you stupid fucking redneck?"

"Ya, town over. We'll get the shit back ta the truck an then we'll go. Ya get somethin' fer yer lil girl?"

I reached over and grabbed a few dresses that looked to be Arlene's size, two pairs of pants, and a few sweaters. Then I strode over to the boy's section and grabbed some clothes for Carl. Johnny and I had a few outfits apiece so we didn't need anything new. I nodded at Daryl and he silently led me back outside. We made it to the truck without another word.

I pissed her off. She was quiet the whole time we were drivin' to the hospital an even when we had to kill some walkers ta get up ta the roof. I didn' even know what I did. She was the one that was cryin' over a fuckin' shirt. Fuckin' world endin' and she was cryin' over a god damn shirt. I protected her ass while she climbed the roof and I followed her up. While she was fiddlin' wit some kinda black panels, I watched the road below fer any sign of walker herds. Wasn' really anythin' ta worry 'bout. Some movement. Not a lot. Nothin' ta report back ta Rick. Was a while 'fore she spoke ta me an the only thing she said was, "You're going to have to carry some of these. I got most of the wiring out but I have some extra stuff in my bag at the prison."

We carried the shit down the hospital an then we went back ta the prison and she still wasn' talkin' ta me. I didn' even know what I did but I knew that if she weren't gonna talk to me, I weren't gonna talk to her. When we got back ta the prison, she helped me unload the truck an then she went straight in ta see her brother an her lil girl. Carol ran up ta me an gave me a hug but I didn' return it. She knew I didn' hug. Just didn'. Weren' what men do. First thin' she asked though was, "Is Jesse okay? She seems a little tense? Were you able to get things for Judith and Arlene?"

"Yer askin' ta many questions, Carol. Calm down," I ordered. I didn' snap at her though. I hadn' done that since we were at Herschel's farm an I called her a crazy bitch. Weren' no use in hollerin' at Carol. She didn' do nothin' bad ta deserve ta get hollered at. She was a good woman. Wisht like crazy I felt somethin' fer her. It'd be nice ta have someone in that time. I knew it'd be good fer me ta love someone but I just didn' feel that way 'bout Carol. Fuckin' sucked.

"She just seems upset. What did you do, Daryl Dixon?" There she was glarin' up at me wit those damn eyes. Reminded me that she cared 'bout me an that made me feel like shit. So I told her everythin', 'cept the part 'bout huggin' her. Didn' even know why I did that. Weren't like she was even grateful fer it. She laughed at me. Downright hateful woman.

"Well did you get a look at the shirt she was crying over?" Carol demanded, starin' me down like always.

"Don' know too well. Said somethin' 'bout daddy's girl or somethin' like that. Don' know why she'd be cryin' over that."

"Oh, Daryl," Carol sighed, "she was crying over a little girl's shirt that said 'daddy's girl' on it. She misses her fiancé, Arlene's dad."

"Oh." I felt bad then. Felt damned awful. Like somebody went an stabbed me in the gut wit a hot knife an twisted it. Felt like my guts were gonna rush up outta my mouth.

"It's alright. You didn't know," Carol assured me. "Just say sorry when you can. It'll be fine."

"Don' apologize."

"Oh hush up. You've apologized to me before. Apologizing to her won't hurt you any."

I glared at her but finished unpackin' the stuff and went inta the cell block. Johnny was outta his cell an sittin' in the middle of the cell block floor wit Arlene an Jesse. Jesse was showin' Arlene her new clothes an the lil girl was gigglin' 'bout them. Had some little dresses an stuff. Then Jesse called Carl over an gave him some clothes too. Didn' know she got any clothes for the boy. Thought she just got clothes fer her girl. Johnny looked up at me an just stared. I knew he knew I'd pissed his sister off an he didn' look none too pleased wit me.

"Jesse, will ya hand me those crutches Herschel foun' fer me? I gotta ask Daryl 'bout his crossbow." Jesse looked up at him suspiciously an he smiled at her all innocent and stuff. "Kinda want a crossbow myself. More force than that regular bow ya carry around. Lot quieter than yer gun and the bolts can be reused."

"Bolts?" she repeated.

"What ya think are the arrows," I spoke up. "Called bolts. Not arrows."

She nodded harshly at me an handed her brother the crutches. She barely spared me a glance 'fore she went back ta playin' wit her girl. Johnny used the crutches ta get hisself up offa the floor an limped towards me. He got past me and ordered, "Come on, Dixon. Don' want Arlene gettin' any ideas 'bout gettin' a crossbow."

He laughed but it weren' a joke. Was his way of gettin' me away from Jesse an Arlene. I followed him outside where the sun was beginnin' ta set. He just stood there an stared fer a few minutes 'fore he turned to me an asked, "Whadja say to my sister, Dixon?"

"Didn' say nothin' ta yer sister. Didn' do nothin' ta yer sister."

"Look, known Jesse my entire life. Literally. She was born five minutes 'fore me so I been wit her my whole life. I know when somethin' upsets her and she is upset. Why the fuck is she upset?"

"Don' know. Just know she was cryin' over some shirt, then a walker tried to bite her, an when I put it down she was still cryin' over the shirt."

"What'd the shirt look like? Did it say anythin'? Think, dumbass. What made my sister upset?" Fer a boy on crutches, he sure looked like he was plannin' on killin' me.

"Somethin' 'bout daddy's girl. Shit, I don' know. Wasn' payin' too much attention ta the shirt. Yer damn sister nearly got her fool ass eaten an everybody's blamin' me 'cause she was upset 'bout a damn shirt an Carol said it means she's missin' her boyfriend, but that ain't none of my problem."

"Ain't missin' Eric," Johnny said simply.

"Well I don' know why the fuck she was cryin' then. Seems ta me like she'd be missin' her boyfriend. Lil girl's daddy an all."

Johnny snorted. "She might miss him a little but only 'cause Arlene don' know enough to miss him, so she's missin' him for her."

"Thought they were gonna get married an stuff."

"They were only gonna get married 'cause that boy wanted somebody to take care of his damn daughter an Jesse couldn' have her own kids an she wanted 'em so bad."

"Thought ya liked her boyfriend."

"Long as Jesse was happy, I didn' give a shit. But see, Jesse ain't happy right now and I know it ain't 'cause a boyfriend that ran off after his whore of an ex. She mighta been sad over the shirt but you sure as fuck didn' help it."

"So what the fuck do you want me to do?"

"Apologize. We're gonna be here for at least seven more weeks. My leg won't be healed up till way past then. So get yer shit straight and apologize to my sister or I'll cut yer shit off."

He turned around an limped off. Didn' even say nothin' else ta me. Him and Carol just expected me ta walk up ta her and say sorry like I did it all the fuckin' time. Weren't gonna happen. An it didn'. She completely avoided me, glarin' at me an makin' sure her watch hours were always wit Glenn or Rick or Carl or Axel. She'd rather go on watch wit a prisoner than go near me.


	9. Chapter 9

"Look, Axel an Carl are on guard, Rick an Glenn are cleanin' out the tunnels, Maggie an Beth are takin' care a Judith an yer lil girl an Herschel an Johnny ain' in no position ta help ya wit this damn project."

"Look, fucker, I don't need your help. I'll wait for somebody else."

I didn't want to deal with him. I didn't want to hear his shit or his stupid fucking accent and I didn't want to see his stupid damn crossbow or his scruffy face.

"Ya can't. Ya've had this shit fer a week now. Ya gotta get it set up 'cause yer lil girl an Judith needs baths an they can't take baths in cold water."

He was right and I was aggravated. Setting up the solar panels was a two person job. I had to route everything through the tiny bathroom window and down to the hot water heater Daryl had rigged in the bathroom. He was useful for that. I growled, "You need a fucking haircut."

"Well 'course I need a fuckin' haircut. Who doesn' need a fuckin' haircut? Ya gonna tell me ya got hair cuttin' scissors in that gear o' yers or something."

"I don't have to tell you anything, Dixon." I could feel my accent rising from my throat. A few moments of arguing with him and I was beginning to sound like Johnny again.

"Look, 'm tryin' ta do the right thing here an help ya wit yer work. Weren't right fer me to snap at ya in the store the other day an I need to apologize ta ya. I know ya must be missin' yer boyfriend an stuff an I'm real sorry 'bout that but…."

I was in his face in a moment. Nose to nose I glared into those bright blue eyes of his and snarled, "Look, fucker, ya don' know nothin' 'bout me or Eric. Ya don' know shit 'bout Arlene or me or my brother. Ya don' get to tell me I was missin' him or anythin' 'bout me."

"Look, ya lil fuckin' psycho, I was just tryin' ta apologize. An' how come ya don' call him yer boyfriend? Ya call him 'Eric.' Why the fuck is that? Don' ya miss him at all? Ya were gonna marry him." He grabbed my shoulders and held me still.

"Don' tell me 'bout my relationship, ya stupid fuckin' hillbilly asshole. I don' have time to be missin' anybody. I got Arlene and my brother to worry 'bout and I don' have time to think 'bout anything else."

"Didja take time to cry over him? Didja mourn him at all?"

I was confused. "Why the fuck are you askin' so many stupid ass questions?"

He stared down at me and blinked. "Don' know. Jus' asking questions."

"Well fuckin' quit. Ya gonna help me with this god damn system or not?"

"Well, ya fuckin' psycho. Ya gonna cut my hair tonight?"

"Fine."

He looked down at me and the corner of his mouth twitched up. I realized just how close the hillbilly was as I inhaled his scent. A little sweat, a little leather, some dirt, and something that was pure man. I glared up at him, knowing he was breathing in my scent, dirt, sweat, and hay. We were frozen in place and I didn't understand why. We barely liked each other. Barely put up with each other. But we were standing there, staring at each other like we were finding a new person. Finally, I teased, "Dixon, if we keep standing this close, I'm going to start liking you. Then I might actually try something on you."

He blushed and dropped his arms so I could step back. I strode over to the solar panels and started fidgeting with the wiring. Daryl stood to the side, looking awkward without the crossbow he loved so much. He was trying to watch me without staring and it made me smile a little. I'd forgiven him for his outburst in the superstore. I didn't understand why Daryl Dixon was the way he was but I knew the man had no self-confidence. If he felt threatened, he snapped out. I could see it in the way he acted with everybody, yet, when it came time to feed Judith, he was the first to leap up. The first to hold her. The first to ruffle Carl's hair or play with Arlene. He wasn't a bad man. He was just shy.

"Daryl," I called out, making sure the accent was gone from my voice.

"Hmmm?"

"Go down to the showers. I'll drop the wiring down to you and I need you to catch it and hold it until I get there."

He nodded and walked away. Without his eyes on me, I watched him walk away. The man was a pain in the ass but I had to admit that his backside was scrumptious in those jeans.

After she wired the hot water heater, she let it heat up all right an proper an the first thing she did was make me an Beth an Maggie help her wash Arlene an Judith. I just stood guard the door while the girls moved 'round inside. Heard 'em gigglin' and carryin' on but I didn' need to know. Girls had to do their stuff off on their own. When they came out they were all clean an she informed me that there weren't any hot water but if I wanted a haircut I'd have to wash my nappy hair 'fore she went anywhere near it wit her scissors. I was glad she forgave me. Thought she was gonna hit me in the face fer a few minutes, then I thought she was gonna kiss me. Then, she just teased me. Damn women.

I washed my hair an my body in cold water 'cause she said it'd take a day fer the sun ta give enough energy fer more hot water. After a quick shower, I made my way into the main cell block. Herschel an Johnny were sitting out with Arlene, Judith, Beth, an Carol. Maggie'd gone to Glenn, which meant they'd gone fer a quick fuck, which was fine an all. Jesse was on her hands and knees in the middle of the floor, ticklin' Arlene an gigglin' when the lil girl shrieked. Johnny an Beth were off to the side, talkin' 'bout God only knew what. Those two had gotten close since Johnny's arrival an I knew Herschel was watchin' Johnny close. Not that the poor crippled bastard could really do anything to Beth. But Herschel knew better than to trust his daughters 'round boys. Maggie was taken in by the Korean after all.

From the floor, Jesse turned her head to look up at me an she grinned. Like a real grin. I'd never seen that on her. She'd been wit us 'bout two weeks an I'd seen her smiles an her smirks an her teasin' Johnny an Arlene but I'd never seen her grin an it 'bout knocked me to my knees. Made her whole damn face light up. Made her eyes get all sparkly an she had the lil dimple things in her cheeks. Before the world went to shit, she musta knocked every guy in ten miles back wit that smile. Johnny looked over at his sister an grinned at me too, like I did somethin' right by makin' things right wit her. She teased, "Take a seat, Dixon. Your hair is getting out of control, hillbilly."

Johnny laughed an I scowled at him but Jesse stood up an pushed me towards a stool one of 'em found somewhere. She informed me, "He isn't laughing at you. He's laughing at me. We're all laughing. It's a good day. Judith and Arlene are clean. All of us girls except Carol are fresh scrubbed. We'll have hot water tomorrow. We're happy. Be happy."

I looked over at Carol an scowled, "Ya an Carl get the shower tomorrow. Know how ya like ta be clean."

She smiled gently at me while Jesse shoved me to sit an pulled a pair of scissors outta her back pocket. Johnny smiled at her an she warned, "You're next, brother of mine. All that dark hair just hides dirt. If I had the clippers, I'd take them to you."

He made a face at her an she just laughed an started combin' her fingers through my hair. Felt kinda nice. Felt kinda calmin'. She smoothed my hair down gently while Beth told her stories 'bout growin' up an Johnny told stories on Jesse. First time she came home drunk, when she punched a boy in the mouth fer bein' mean to her brother, first time she killed a deer. It was a while 'fore I realized she was gently snippin' away at my hair. Never had no one be gentle to me 'fore. When I got haircuts when I was little someone was always smackin' me an tellin' me not to move 'round so much. When I got older, I just did it myself. But her lil fingers was gentle an while she worked, Arlene climbed up into my lap an I sat there with people fer the first time in a long time. Played a clappin' game wit the lil girl an was almost disappointed when I felt Jesse's tiny hands brushin' away at the stray hairs on my head. She leaned forward an blew on me to get the rest of 'em off. I shivered an looked up ta find Carol grinnin' at me. Couldn' be havin' that so I stood up quickly wit Arlene an turned to stare at Jesse. Her attention was on Arlene but she looked up at me when I said, "Gonna take Lil Bit out ta the field wit me. Teach her to hunt frogs or somethin' like that. Maybe we kin eat some grasshoppers tonight."

Arlene stuck her tongue out and said, "Eww!"

Jesse grinned an got real close to me so she could rub her nose against her lil girl's nose. She teased, "Grasshoppers are good eating, baby girl. Never say no to a full stomach."

"They're crunchy!"

"Not as crunchy as you!" Jesse pretended to bite the lil girl an she hollered and wriggled, makin' Jesse have to come closer to me to get at her. When she got too close I shifted my weight away from her, but sent Lil Bit towards her. She tickled her fer a moment more 'fore she sighed and stepped away. She reached up an tugged on the little girl's braid a bit 'fore she said, "Alright, you two. Go play in the field but don't be out too long. We just bathed you."

She turned away from me an hollered, "Alright, Johnny, off your seat, on your feet, and into the stool!"

"Aww! Come on, Jess!"

I turned to walk away as she was teasin' her brother. I heard Carol whisper to Herschel, "I've never seen Daryl let anybody get that close to him! He didn't even flinch!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Isn't it weird how nature hasn't paused?" I broke the silence of the night. I had watch with Daryl. It was four days after I'd cut his hair. It looked good short on him. He was still scraggly and dirty, but it looked good. A lot of things looked good on Daryl. Judith in his arms looked good on Daryl. The way he carried Arlene on his shoulders looked good on Daryl. Him with his arm thrown around Carol looked good on Daryl. I didn't know if I was sex starved or what but the man seemed to be walking sex appeal.

We fought like crazy, getting into each other's faces and worrying Johnny and Carol (Johnny that he would hurt me and Carol that I would hurt him) but I genuinely enjoyed spending time with Daryl. He was a shy asshole who had trouble controlling his rampant temper and had no self-confidence, but he was also a sweetheart. He looked over at me laying on the semi and grunted.

"Words, Dixon. I know you have them," I scolded half heartedly.

"Nature don' never pause," he said softly. "Animals don' care if we're gettin' eaten or not. We eat them, their turn ta laugh at us."

I looked over at him and grinned. He growled, "What?"

"I never thought of it that way," I giggled. "Nature is righting itself."

"Ya crazy tonight or somethin' girl? Whatchu gotta be smilin' 'bout?"

"Lots of stuff, Dixon," I replied. I was in a great mood. Even with walkers patrolling the outer gate, I felt safe. I felt like Arlene and Johnny were safe. I had friends. A day didn't pass that Carol and Herschel and I weren't joking around. Johnny had a new friend in Beth, though his eyes said he liked her as more than a friend. Even though Carl was five years older than her, Arlene had somebody to play with. Hell, we even had hot water. I knew Johnny, Arlene, and I would be leaving out soon, but it was nice while it lasted.

"Like what?" he demanded. Daryl was always asking me questions. Pestering me for just a little more information. Carol said it meant he liked me, that he was like a small child, always curious and hungry for information but too shy to ask for it. She said that him talking to me like he did meant something.

"Well, I get to be lying here on top of a semi, watching the stars with a sexy redneck with a crossbow," I teased just to make him blush. "My brother and my little girl are safe. I took a hot shower yesterday. I get to play with a baby every day. I've had food in my belly every night. I met some nice people."

"Don' be teasin' me like ya do," he said gruffly.

I rolled my eyes. I was stretched out on the semi with my arms crossed below my head and my legs crossed at the ankle. Daryl was sitting within arm's reach of me with his back straight and his face looking away from me. I reached out and grabbed his leg. I taunted, "What are you going to do if I don't? Huh, cowboy?"

He tried to yank his leg away from me and grunted, "Quit it, Jesse. Ain't in the mood."

"You're never in the mood, Dixon." I laughed as I sat up quickly and started crawling towards him. I got face to face with him and stuck my tongue out, pulling faces like I did with Arlene when she was being cranky.

"Fuckin' quit it, crazy." I could almost hear a smile in his voice, no matter what he said.

"Nope. Not quittin' it and you can't make me," I sang out.

He reached up to put his hands on my shoulders and I sat up straight to put my hands on his. He snarled at me and I threw my head back and laughed. I surprised him by pushing and he toppled over without taking his hands from my shoulders, yanking me with him so that I was half on top of him. His bright blue eyes were wide with surprise and it made me giggle even harder. I took advantage of his shock to shake his hands off my shoulders and climb on top of him. I pinned his shoulders with my knee and declared, "I am the queen! Are you ticklish, Daryl Dixon?"

"What? No!"

"I think you are!" I reached down and started tickling his ribs. He squirmed beneath me and I laughed harder while he tried to escape my hands. It was a few moments before he realized he was stronger than me and he growled, "Quit it, ya fuckin' psycho."

He sat up quickly and grabbed my wrists to yank them behind my body. In the process, he only yanked me closer so that we were chest to chest and I was straddling him. I stared at him with one eyebrow quirked up. He stared back at me silently. I whispered, "I have an itch, Dixon. Do you think you can scratch it?"

"What?" Before he could say anything else, I moved my head forward quickly and pressed my lips to his. I didn't know if it was the beauty of the night or the euphoria I was feeling, but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment, and, for a second, he kissed me lightly back, neither of us opening our mouths or moving much. But, when I poked my tongue out to lick his lips lightly, he yanked back with a sneer. "Whadja do that fer?"

"I just….I thought…Sorry." I yanked my wrists away and moved away from him as quickly as I could to the other side of the semi.

"Jesse…" I looked over at him, expecting an explanation or an apology or something. Instead, he said, "Don' ferget yer gun."

He slid my Beretta over to me and the rest of the watch was spent in silence, looking away from each other. At the end of watch, as the first light of dawn was breaking, Carl and Rick came to relieve us and Daryl stayed behind to talk to Rick while I walked up to the cell block. When I entered, I heard the starting cries of Judith and I made my way into Beth's cell before she could wake anybody else up. I slipped her out of her crate and bounced her softly as I made her bottle one handed. While I fed her, I walked the cell block silently, making loops and letting tears roll quietly down my cheeks while I patted the baby's back. Even at the end of the world, rejection didn't feel too great.

"'ll take her," Daryl's voice sounded quietly behind me after ten minutes of walking. "Ya go ta bed wit yer lil girl and I'll take lil asskicker."

I didn't look at him when I handed the girl over and I didn't make a sound as I slid into my cell and kicked off my shoes. I scooted Arlene over and slid into the bed with my little girl. I didn't need anyone to kiss anyway. All I needed in life was my brother and my baby girl. Arlene stirred gently when I moved her and she groaned, "Jezze, ya cryin'?"

I sighed, knowing Johnny would be getting a lecture in the morning for her language. I whispered, "I did something stupid, baby girl. It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Not bit?"

"No. I'm not bit. Just go back to sleep, baby girl."

"Jezze."

"Hmmm, honey?" I buried my face in her hair and held her a little closer to me.

"Come I can' call ya mommy?"

Tears ran down my face a little faster. I promised, "We'll talk about this some other time, okay? Go to sleep."

"'kay. I love you."

"I love you too, baby girl."


	11. Chapter 11

"What did you do now, Daryl Dixon?" I sighed. Course it was Carol. Coulda handled Johnny, him bein' on crutches an all. But couldn' push Carol away. Couldn' tell her ta go ta hell or nothin' like that. Just had ta stand there an take whatever she was gonna holler at me. She walked right over to me up in the guard tower an got in my space.

"Didn' do nothin'," I growled.

"You very clearly did. You and Jesse are so awkward around each other. It's like watching two teenagers! What did you do?"

She stood in fronta me wit her hands on her hips, glarin' up at me like she weren' on my side. I didn' do a damn thing ta that girl. I didn' even know why she was cryin'. Weren' like I kissed her. That crazy girl kissed me without warnin'. Ya just can' go 'round kissin' on people without warnin' them an she did. She didn' even say nothin' 'bout it. One minute she was bein' all ridiculous and tryin' ta tickle me an then she was kissin' on me an I was tryin' not ta poke her wit anythin', her bein' a mom an all.

"Well, Daryl, what did you do?"

"I didn' do nothin'! She kissed me without warnin' me or nothin' an I couldn' go 'round doin' nothin' to her! She's a mom! She's got a lil girl! She ain't the type of girl ya disrespect like that!"

"She kissed you?" Carol said, her mouth hangin' open like a fish.

"Ya she kissed me! One minute she was all giggles an laughin' an teasin' me like she always is doin' on watch an then we kinda wrestled 'round fer a minute 'cause she tried ta tickle me an then she up an kissed me!"

"Well did you kiss her back?" Carol looked all excited an stuff.

"'Course not! Weren' gonna hurt her! She's all lil an she's got that lil girl an her brother would be all pissed at me!"

"Hurt her?" Carol could be downright stupid sometimes. All girls could.

"Ya! She's real lil! What if I'da done somethin' back ta her an I'd hurt her? 'm a lot bigger than her!"

Carol's mouth hangin' open turned into a grin. She asked, "Do you think you could physically hurt her by kissing her back?"

"Not by kissin' her, no. I know that. But she ain't like the women 'm used to. She's….she's….different! 'kay? She's different an I ain't hurtin' her!"

Carol laughed an I glared at her. She knew I damn well hated bein' laughed at. She said quickly, "I'm not laughing at you, Daryl. Just, you aren't going to hurt her. I know she seems like a city girl but she grew up out in the country, with Johnny. She hunts and she's survived everything so far. She carries that little girl on her back for miles at a time without complaining. Messing around with her, if that's what she wants, isn't going to hurt her."

"She's not a trashy woman, Carol. If I'm gonna mess 'round wit her, she's gonna be stuck wit me 'cause she's gonna be my woman an ain't no woman that wants that. Things were different 'fore. Women could come an go wit me whenever they wanted. Didn' mean nothin'. They left whenever they got tired of me. Things are differen' now."

"So you're saying, that if she wanted to mess around with you, she'd have to be your girlfriend?"

"Not sayin' that. Don' need no girlfriend." She was bein' a stupid woman again. "Jus need her to know that if that's what she wants, she ain't gettin' away from me after that. She ain't gettin' rid of me."

"Daryl, you…." I glared at her an she shut up real quick. "Daryl, I think that if you tell Jesse that, she will stay here in a heartbeat with you and with Arlene and with Johnny. Rick would let them. They have a little girl and Jesse does her part and Johnny and Beth have taken a liking to each other."

"If she can' figure it out herself, I don' need to tell her," I growled.

Carol took a deep breath an glared at me. She was gettin' ready to holler. Anybody who drew in breath like that was gettin' ready to holler. But she didn' holler she jus said real quiet like, "Daryl, if you don't tell that to that girl, I will."

"Min' yer own damn business fer once, woman," I groaned. I didn' need Jesse goin' 'round thinkin' I was soft on her or somethin'. Just weren' gonna use her fer that or nothin'. Wanted her to know that it wouldn' be a one time thing.

"Not going to happen, Daryl. This is an ultimatum." I stared at her. "It's where you have to…"

"Know what a fuckin' ultimatum is, god damn it. Fine. Tell her. Don' care 'cause I ain't doin' it. Don' matter to me if ya do it or not. Don' mean nothin'. Jus means I ain't lettin' a girl wit a kid get hurt by some big dumb redneck."

"You're not dumb, Daryl. You're certainly big and you can be a redneck, but never dumb." She leaned up an kissed me on the cheek an I jerked away. She knew I didn' like that shit. Then, jus like that, she turned an left. Fuckin' women were always messin' 'round where they shouldn' be.

Sure 'nough, it was only a few hours 'fore I found Jesse stormin' up the stairs of the guard tower, all pissed off an lookin' like she was gonna hit me. Course she was pissed off. Carol told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend, which weren't what I wanted at all. I didn' like the word girlfriend none. It meant a lot of promises I weren' gonna give.

"Daryl fucking Dixon, did you not kiss me because you thought I was going to get hurt?"

She stormed up to me an poked me in the chest hard. I groaned, "Come on, ya lil fuckin' psycho. Don' be pokin' me an hollerin' at me."

"Seriously, Dixon, you didn't kiss me because I have a little girl and you thought I was going to get hurt. How were you going to hurt me? It's the end of the world. I wasn't expecting you to put a ring on my finger just because I got a little turned on the other night!"

"Jesse…"

"No!" she cut me off. "You're being a fucking idiot. I mean, you're always stupid but you're even more stupid now than you ever are! What makes you think I need you taking care of me? What makes you think I need you protecting me? What makes you think I want you protecting me?"

"I…"

"Because that's not what I was asking for, Daryl! I wasn't trying to trick you into letting me stay. I wasn't trying to trick you into taking care of me and my daughter! Or me and my brother! I wasn't trying to trick you into anything! I just wanted sex! I was craving it! It's been over a year since I've had any physical contact! It's been since before the world fell to shit! God, Daryl, you're attractive! Do you not know that?"

"What?"

"You're sexy. You're muscle and accent and all that shy shit you have going is hot! I shouldn't have kissed you the other night, I know that, alright? I should have left it at harmless teasing but I was feeling good and you were there and I just wanted some human contact!" Her eyes got all sparkly, meanin' she was 'bout to cry an I didn' know what to do. "I get it if you're not attracted. I know I look like shit and I suck sometimes, but you just need to tell me. I'm sorry."

"Yer…sorry?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I shouldn't have done it in the first place if that wasn't what you wanted. I should have asked first."

She turned around an started to leave an I just couldn' let her leave like that. So I reached out an grabbed her 'round the waist an tugged her back up the few short stairs she'd walked down. She whirled 'round all angry like wit her eyes all full of tears and asked, "What, Daryl?"

"Do ya still wanna try again? Like, now that I know whatchur gonna do?"


	12. Chapter 12

"What?"

"Do ya still wanna kiss me?" I said it again.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On if you want to kiss me or not."

"Well, course I wanna kiss a perty girl like ya. But I gotta tell ya that a kiss don' mean much. But that's it fer right now 'cause I ain't gonna do nothing else till ya trust me and till I know that ya ain't gonna pitch a bitch fit if I feel like havin' ya stick 'round. 'Cause I've never left a woman. Been left. Never done the leavin'."

"Can we just kiss and see how it goes?"

I shrugged an pulled her towards me. She put her hands on my shoulders an stared up at me. It weren' playful like the time 'fore. It was serious. An we were awkward. I didn' know if I was supposed to make the first move or if she would. All the times 'fore wit women were cause we were real drunk or real horny. Finally, she kinda whispered, "Daryl, I don't want to emasculate you by making the first move again, so do you want to come down here? You're a lot taller than me."

I was a lot taller than her. Her head barely rested at my chest an she'da had to stood on tiptoes to kiss me standin' up. So I leaned down, close enough fer her to reach me an she moved forward the rest of the way to press her lips to mine real soft, like she had at first a couple a nights 'fore. She drew back like a frightened deer an I pulled her back to me an leaned my head down to press my lips to hers again. We stood there like that fer a while longer 'fore she pulled away an stared at me like she was askin' my permission. So I leaned forward an kissed her like she kissed me. I pushed my lips 'gainst hers an licked her lips slowly. She tasted good an when she opened her mouth, I didn' pause fer a second. I kissed her hard an long. I took my time explorin' her mouth an she did the same to me. Damn that girl could kiss. She was all softness an sweetness an at the same time her teeth were nibblin' on my lips an her hands were tuggin' on my short hair. When we pulled away fer air, I looked down an noticed we'd been grindin' 'gainst one another. Seekin' relief. I pulled away a lil an stared down at her.

"Wow" was the first thing she said. She said it soft an quiet. Like church people said amen at the end of a real good prayer. I couldn' agree wit her more. Couldn' see how anybody would wanna leave her after kissin' her. Couldn' see how her dumbass boyfriend would take off after his ex when he was leavin' that behind. So I just leaned down an kissed her again an again an again. We stood up there fer 'bout an hour. Just kissin' and movin' against each other. It was real hard keepin' my hands to myself but I did real well. Kept 'em on her waist an didn' move 'em offa there. Her hands didn' stay on my shoulders though. They moved from my hair, to my shoulders, down my chest, up my back, an started all over again. She was drivin' me wild an I was doin' my best to hold on. I dragged away from her an panted, "Jesse, we gotta stop. Ya gotta stop."

She pouted up at me an looked a lil hurt. I said real quick, "Ain't 'cause I want to or anything. 'Cause I need to focus on guard duty an you gotta help wit dinner an yer lil one'll be lookin' fer ya."

She nodded fiercely, a lot more focused when she was thinkin' 'bout Arlene. Even if it was kinda cool that she couldn' think in the first place cause a me. She pecked me on the cheek 'fore she took off down the stairs an out towards the cell block without 'nother word.

Damn that man could kiss, and after that first make out session in the tower, it seemed to be all we did when we could get a few moments alone. It had been a week and things were changing. It was getting warmer. Johnny was moving around more (and also moving closer to Beth), Arlene was getting bigger, and Daryl and I couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We hadn't told anybody yet. We hadn't gone past making out and grinding on one another. When one of us was up in the guard tower, the other would find a few minutes to slip away unnoticed. Late at night, when one of us had woken up to take care of Judith's murmured cries and after we'd put her back to bed. On patrol, against the truck, hidden away from curious eyes.

"We've got about four, five more weeks," I said slowly.

"I know. Is it going to be hard for ya to leave?"

"A little. Why do you ask?"

"Well, couldn't help but notice that ya and Daryl have gotten a little closer."

"Yep. He's a good man."

"Is he a good kisser too?"

I glared at my brother and he grinned back at me, the green eyes that matched mine sparkling mischievously. I growled, "Shut up, Johnny."

"So ya've kissed him!" he exclaimed.

I leapt up off the stool beside his bed and clamped my hand over his mouth quickly. I whispered, "Shut the fuck up, Johnny or I tell Herschel that you've kissed Beth."

His eyes narrowed and I released his mouth. He growled, "Shut up, Jesse."

"So we're both fucked, and when it's time for them to kick us out on our asses, we're both going to be hurting," I sighed. "We suck. She's four years younger than you; I don't even know how much older than me he is."

"It's the end of the world, Jess. I don't think age differences really matter all that much. I think what matters is that we found somebody we care about."

"Just because it's the end of the world doesn't mean either of us should be rushing into relationships."

"We're not rushing into anythin', sis. I mean, shit, ya haven't even had sex wit him yet. Yer movin' at a snail's pace."

"How do you know who I haven't or had had sex with?" I growled.

"Known ya my whole damn life, Jess. Know what yer "just got laid" face looks like. Ya haven' worn it yet but everybody knows that the two of ya are foolin' 'round."

"We're taking it slow," I admitted. "Daryl wants us to wait because he wants me to trust him. And because he says if we go there, that will be it. I will be with him."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"I'm not forcing him to be with me."

"Don' sound like yer forcin' him into anythin'. Sounds like he's damn near excited 'bout the idea of bein' wit ya."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to argue when Arlene came racing into the room. She raced forward and collided with my legs hard. I lifted her up and she squealed happily, "Raining! Raining! Raining! Mud bath! Can we mud bath? Please, please, please, Jezze? Can we mud bath? Can we, can we, can we?"

I laughed and nodded to her. With her settled on my hip, I reached down to help Johnny out of his bed. He took my hand and kept his weight off of his leg while he fumbled around for his crutches. He found his and we moved out into the main area where Beth, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, Axel, and Carl were sitting. Carol and Rick were on patrol and Herschel was in the guard tower. Johnny lumbered over to sit next to Beth, closer than he would have if Herschel had been there. She smiled at him and bounced Judith in her arms gently. I announced, "Arlene and I are going to have a mud bath. Does anybody want to join us?"

"What's a mud bath?" Beth asked.

"Mud bath! We're gonna mud! We're gonna get dirty and muddy and have fun!" Arlene exclaimed happily.

"We used to do it before all of this," I explained. "We used to go out in the front yard when it rained and have fun. Just slather ourselves in mud and play."

"Sounds like somethin' every kid needs," Daryl spoke up.

"It is," I agreed, "which is why Johnny is going to watch Judith and the rest of us are going to go have a mud bath."

"But, my dad…."

"Will be fine," I interrupted Carl. "We're all going."

"Beth and I…."

"Just because you're adults, doesn't mean you don't need something fun too," I cut Maggie off.

"Sounds good to me." Daryl leaned down and lifted Carl up over his shoulder. He spun around to face Glenn and warned, "I'll see ya in a few minutes Chinaman. If ya an yer girl don' make it out there, I'll come back an get ya like this too."


	13. Chapter 13

With that, he turned on his heel and raced off. Johnny nudged Beth and said cheerfully, "Go on out there with them. I'll take Judith. It's fun. You'll have fun."

She nodded and handed Johnny the baby gently before leaning down and shyly kissing him on the cheek. Glenn turned to Maggie and informed her, "Daryl wasn't joking. Come on."

He helped her up and they started walking outside. Axel stared at me and I shrugged with a laugh. "You can come too, if you want to."

I turned on my heel and carried Arlene outside. It was pouring. The rain hit us instantly, soaking us through to the bone. Daryl and the others turned to stare at me, asking what they were supposed to do. I put Arlene on her feet and reached down to grab her hand. She stared up at me with laughter in those blue eyes and I took a second to smile about how lucky I was. My little girl was safe. She was going to enjoy the first 'mud bath' she'd taken in over a year. She tugged on my hand and I nodded at her. We took off running, as quickly as we could towards the muddied areas. Once we hit the mud, we started sliding. I went down first, pulling Arlene with me and soaking my back. Behind us, Daryl ran with Carl over his shoulder and went down beside us, dropping Carl into the mud beside us.

I grabbed a clump of mud and smeared it across Arlene's face. She giggled and did the same to Carl, who just looked shocked. Daryl cried out, "Come on, boy! Live a lil!"

He leapt up and ran up the hill to grab Glenn and throw the confused Asian over his shoulder. He called, "Girls, ya might as well join us or I'll come get ya next!"

He raced back down the hill and dropped Glenn a lot harder than he had dropped Carl. Arlene was busy rubbing mud all over my head and she paused when Daryl raced back over. She leapt up and tossed a clump of mud at him, hitting him square between the shoulders. I was pretty proud of her. For only five years old, she could lob an object pretty well. He looked down at her with a big, stupid grin on his face and grabbed her up. He dropped to his knees and started rolling her in the dirt while she shrieked, "Help me, Jezze! Jezze, help me!"

Glenn, Beth, and Carl were busy dousing Maggie in mud. I swung on top of Daryl's back and started rubbing my mud stained hands across his scruffy face. He laughed deeply and grabbed my ankles. He said quickly, "Lil Bit, help me get yer momma!"

That moment gave me a pause but Arlene didn't even say anything. She just nodded in agreement and wriggled out of Daryl's grasp. Daryl didn't even turn around to grab me. He just fell backwards and pinned me underneath him. He rolled quickly, situating himself between my thighs as Arlene moved over to straddle my chest. She smeared mud on my face and into my hair while Daryl smeared it on my arms and legs and chest. The more I wriggled, the harder Daryl pressed down on me. I shrieked with laughter and Arlene giggled and Daryl laughed deep booming laughs. When they completely covered me, I cried out, "You little traitor! Help me get Daryl!"

She turned and pushed him away from me. He could have easily fought against her but he didn't. He went down and let her sit on his chest while I straddled his thighs. We covered him in mud while the falling rain washed it off of me and Arlene. Glenn and Maggie and Carl and Beth were wrestling beside us. We were all screaming with laughter and then thunder boomed above us, causing Beth to shriek and Arlene to grab onto Daryl's shirt. Beth took off running up towards the cell block and Daryl stood up so quickly that I was knocked back on my ass. He reached down, grasped my arm and yanked me up while he held Arlene close to his chest. Maggie and Glenn grabbed Carl while Daryl grabbed me and we ran. Arlene clung to Daryl and Daryl clung to my hand. All of us ran.

We made it into the cell block where Johnny was feeding Judith. He stared at us and started laughing. We were completely covered with mud and panting heavily. Daryl was holding Arlene tightly on his hip and his fingers were interlaced with mine. Glenn and Maggie each had hold of one of Carl's arms. Johnny ordered, "Into the shower."

We all moved into the shower and stood under the water with our clothes on. It was freezing cold, but it washed the water off of us. Arlene squirmed and wriggled while I used my hands to brush the mud away from her skin. Daryl stood behind me, running his hands over my body in an attempt to keep me warm while I washed off Arlene. Neither of us were aware of the stares on us or how close we were. When Arlene was clean, I kissed her on the top of the head and sent her to change her clothes. Carl and Beth had already exited the shower and Glenn and Maggie were beside us, washing quickly. I looked up at Daryl and said, "The rain is warmer than this shower."

"Then what're we still doin' here?" He said lowly.

I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and he grabbed my hand and we ran out onto the concrete. Out in the rain, I poured shampoo into my hand and started running it through his hair. He snatched the bottle away and just dumped it on me. A lot of it. He just squeezed and let it loose on my head and we massaged each other's scalps, me giggling and him grinning. We used the suds to clean any spare skin and the mud dripped onto the concrete. When the shampoo was gone from my hair, he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. He murmured, "Ya trust me now?"

"Yeah. I trust you."

He smiled and kissed me harder. We looked up and found Johnny and Beth staring back at us. Daryl informed me, "Yer gonna have to stay now. Me an Rick are gonna talk after dinner. Ain't losin' ya or Lil Bit."


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: I'm not a review monger and I won't refuse to update if you don't review, but I really do appreciate the feedback. So if you feel particularly moved or if there's a specific part you liked, I'd love it if you'd take a few moments to let me know. Pretty please.

"Rick, I needa talk ta ya." Rick looked up from his plate an stared at me. They all stared at me. All 'cept Axel, Glenn, an Johnny. Johnny was up in the tower, on his first watch, an Axel an Glenn were on patrol. They knew what was goin' on. I fuckin' kissed her in fronta her brother an Herschel's youngest daughter. But I was ready to tell Rick that I wanted her an Johnny to stay. I was ready to take the next step wit her. I was more than ready. I didn' give a shit if it was sex or if it was just one of us takin' our shirt off, but I wasn' gonna let her leave. She was stayin' 'round.

"Alright, Daryl. When I finish dinner, we'll go outside and talk."

I nodded at him an looked up at Jesse. She was focused on Lil Bit, who was pokin' at her food all mad an stuff, not wantin' to eat the stew. She was bein' a five year old, which was rare fer her, but after a busy day in the mud an everythin', she was just tired. I reached over an tapped Jezze on the shoulder. When she looked at me, I handed her some crackers an offered, "She kin eat these an I'll eat her stew so ya can get her ta bed. She's just cranky."

Jesse smiled at me all grateful an stuff an took the crackers. She handed me the rest of the lil bit of stew in the bowl to me an gave the cracker's to Lil Bit. Lil girl ate her crackers like she was supposed to an snuggled up to Jesse. Jesse whispered in her ear an sent her 'round to say good night to everybody. I tried not to smile when Lil Bit hugged me an gave me a kiss on the cheek. Jesse picked her up an carried her to the cell an I could hear her talkin' real quiet to her. Now that we weren' hidin' it no more, I didn' feel like I had to not look at her cell while she was tellin' her lil girl a story. I pushed her plate down to the side so she'd be able to finish eatin' it when she got done wit Lil Bit.

Rick finished eatin' after me 'cause he ate all slow an polite an stuff. By the time, he got done eatin', Jesse was back an she was eatin' an teasin' Johnny 'bout bein' a cripple. Rick stood up an I jumped up after him an started followin' him out the door. I looked back at Jesse an she looked up an smiled at me. I followed Rick out to the block an he turned to ask, "Is this about Jesse?"

"Ya."

"How attached to her are you?"

"Guess she's my woman an 'm her man."

"You know she has a kid and she won't stay if her brother can't stay."

"Don' care. I'll hunt extra to make sure we kin feed everybody. I'll go into town more. I'll do whatever I gotta. Jus need to make sure they stay."

"We can't have you going into town all the time, Daryl. We need you here. We need you protecting the rest of us."

"Alright. Whatever. Wouldn' it do more good to have more help wit everythin'? Jesse and Johnny can hunt, once Johnny gets back on his feet. Jesse's real good at goin' into town an she's real helpful wit Carl an Judith."

"Daryl, it will be really hard to have three extra…"

"Nah, please. Need her here. Can' be havin' her leave. Gotta protect her an her daughter."

"Daryl, we all know that Arlene doesn't really belong to Jesse. She took the responsibility of that little girl. We've turned down larger groups before."

"But they ain't a big group. They're a lil group wit a lil girl an ya kin say that Lil Bit don' belong to Jesse all ya want but she does. She belongs to Jesse more 'en she ever did her own parents. So it weren' a choice to take her. We gotta keep them wit us."

"You really like her?"

"Didn' say that," I growled. I hated feelin's an talkin' 'bout 'em. Weren' what men did. "She's my woman. An I'm gonna protect her no matter what."

We both stared at each other. I didn' know if I'd actually go through wit my threat. I didn' know if I'd leave if they couldn' stay. But I knew that Rick didn' wanna risk it.

"What about the rest of the group?"

"Beth'll want Johnny to stay an if Beth wants somethin' then Maggie an Herschel'll want it too."

"And what about Carol? There wasn't anything going on between the two of you?"

"Course not! Me an Carol are like family!"

He sighed an scrubbed at his head tiredly. "Alright. They can stay. You can tell them whenever you want."

"Thank ya. Ya won' regret it."

"I know, Daryl. I trust you. You're a good man."

I nodded at him an turned to go back into the prison. I helped Carol clean up an listened to Jesse cleanin' up some of Lil Bit's stuff. She was chattin' wit Beth 'bout gettin' Judith some toys if the group was gonna be stayin' at the prison fer a while. She didn' include Johnny, Lil Bit, an herself in that an I was a lil happy 'bout gettin' to tell her that they'd be stayin'. I waited till everybody had gone to their own cell an Maggie an Glenn an Johnny went out on duty. Then, when it was all quiet, I slipped into Jesse's cell an sat on the edge of her bunk. She moved instantly. She sat up an turned to stare at me. She whispered, "What do you need? Arlene's asleep."

"'m not lookin' to fool 'round or nothin'. Jus wanted to give ya some good news."

She smiled real soft at me an asked, "What?"

"I talked to Rick. Ya guys can stay. Ya an yer brother an yer lil girl." She stared at me wit her mouth hangin' open. I stared back at her, waitin' on her to smile or thank me or somethin' like that. But she didn'. She jus stared at me. I said quick, "Ya don' have to if ya doin' want to, I guess. I jus figured that since ya said ya trust me an wit everythin' that's been goin' on an….whatever. Don' matter."

I went to stand up an she grabbed my arm an yanked me down to sit wit her again. 'fore I could talk, she grabbed the back of my neck an yanked my mouth to hers. She kissed me real hard an real fast an when we pulled away I was gaspin' fer air. She said, "Daryl, I would love to stay here. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before. I was with Eric for two years and he proposed to me but he never asked me to move in. It was always assumed but he never asked me."

"Ain't really askin' ya to move in wit me," I growled.

She rolled her eyes an kissed me again. She said quietly, "Thank you. For everything you've done today."

"Jus talked to Rick."

"You called me Arlene's mom."

"Well, yer her momma."

"But I've never in my life let her call me mom because I didn't want her to forget her real mom."

"Don' seem much fer her to remember."

"She asked me a few days ago if she could call me mommy."

"Oughta say ya to her."

"The next time she asks me, I think I will. I owe it to her for her to have a mother."

"Important fer her to grow up wit a good one. 'specially now. An yer a good one."

"You're an amazing man, Daryl Dixon."

She smiled at me again an kissed me real soft. She asked, "Want to stay in here for a bit? Maybe talk or something."

"We jus talk though, 'cause a yer lil girl's in here," I warned her. She laughed an rolled her eyes. She yawned. "Ya oughta jus go to sleep."

"Well, since I'm your woman," I knew my damn cheeks turned red when she said that, "curl up with me for right now. When I fall asleep, you can leave."

"Alright. But don' be tryin' nothin' on me. I know how ya get real touchy whenever 'm 'round."

She laughed an layed back down on the bed. I layed down side her an lay real still 'cause I didn' really know how to lay wit girls. 'fore everythin' went to hell, they'd come an get what they needed an then they'd curl into me fer an hour or two an leave. But I'd never curled up wit a girl I hadn't fucked an I weren' gonna fuck Jesse. Different kinda sex.

"Daryl, you don't have to lay as stiff as you do. You can curl up with me."

I nodded an rolled onto my side so her back was pressed up 'gainst my stomach. She reached back an grabbed my arm an looped it 'round her waist so that I was holdin' her tight. Was nice. She was all warm an soft. Like a breathin' pillow. Lil Bit was curled wit her face into Jesse's neck an her legs were kicked off to the side. I lay there real still an quiet till I couldn' stand it anymore. Then I finally whispered, "Tell me somethin'."

"What do you want me to tell you?" she murmured.

"Anythin'. Tell me anythin'. Tell me how ya met yer ex boyfriend."

I figured it was okay to call him her ex boyfriend since she was my woman an all. Was probably dead anyway so I didn' worry too much 'bout it. She whispered, "Met him because of Arlene. I left for college in August and, in September; I went to the grocery store in the next town over. The one in the college town didn't really have anything except noodles and some Easy Mac. I went to a really small college. There were barely three thousand students."

Could imagine her down on a college campus somewhere. Real young an probably kinda scared 'bout bein' out on her own so far from her family. But stickin' her chin up in the air an handlin' it by fakin' not bein' scared.

"I was just shopping when I got hit in the legs. You've seen how Arlene runs. She's like a tiny freight train. She hit me hard in the legs and I didn't know who she was. It was just this little two year old, clinging to my legs and babbling. I asked everybody who she belonged to. I talked to every worker, every person in the store. Nobody had any idea who she belonged to. So I was freaking out. I was holding a two year old who, even though she seemed pretty happy, was completely lost. I took her to the police station and told them that I didn' know who she belonged to." I grunted when she mentioned the police station. Didn' like cops. Took me a long time jus to like Rick an he was a good man. Not like the other fuckin' pig. Shane. Fuckin' psycho dumbass.

"Oh hush up," she laughed. "I didn't know what else to do. I took her down to the police station and the chief there knew her. I stayed with her and played games with her while they called her dad. I was there for two hours before this really scrawny, greased up guy with messy red hair walked in. He wasn't my type. At all. Never in my life had I been attracted to small guys and I wasn't really at that moment either. But he saw me sitting there with Arlene and he raced up and grabbed her and he asked me if I wanted to go on a date. It was the quickest thing ever. I just said yes. I didn't even think about it. I just said yes. Things kind of went from there."

"Ya got with him 'cause of yer lil girl?"

She shrugged an admitted, "Yeah. I guess I did."

"Well, ain't got a lil girl."

"Well, I'm not looking for another one so don't worry about that being why I'm with you."

"Nah. Yer jus wit me 'cause I'm so sexy."

She giggled an ordered, "Shut up, Dixon. I'm trying to sleep. We have patrol in the morning."

"Yer the one that's gotta sleep," I growled. "'m jus in here til ya fall asleep. Ain't sleepin' in a damn cell."

"That's fine, Daryl. Thank you for everything."

"Don' gotta thank me. Yer my woman now. Ain't gonna hear no complaints."

She nodded an relaxed. It was only 'bout ten minutes later that her breathin' was quiet an deep an matched Lil Bit's. Fooled me into relaxin' too till my eyes closed all on their own an I was just layin' there sleepin' wit her.


	15. Chapter 15

"Have you ever seen him do anything like that?"

"No. I didn't know he knew how to cuddle."

"Has Johnny seen yet?"

"How is Arlene not awake yet?"

"They have patrol. We need to wake them up."

"Do you really think Daryl is going to take being woken up in this position very well? He is going to be pissed."

"Well we have to wake them up."

"Could ya shut the fuck up? God damn ya fuckin' ole women. Swear to god, ya can' shut up fer a fuckin' second." Daryl was awake. I'd been laying silently for ten minutes, listening to Maggie, Glenn, and Carol whisper back and forth. I'd been shocked when I woke up to Daryl snuggling into my back. I was sweating. To my front, Arlene's face was buried into my neck and her hands were twisted into my shirt. Her knees were in my bladder. At my back, Daryl was wrapped around me. One arm was wrapped around my middle and all my weight was pressed down on his elbow. I knew my ribs were bruising. His other hand was resting possessively at my hip. His face was resting at the base of my neck and his hot breath was tickling down my spine.

"Daryl, she's still sleeping," I whispered.

"Yer 'wake," he mumbled against my skin. I felt him lean back and I knew he was glaring at Glenn, Maggie, and Carol. He hissed, "Git! Lil Bit's still 'sleep an yer gonna wake her up!"

I heard them walk away and he rolled back into me. He whispered, "We got first patrol. Supposed to be up ten minutes ago. Come on."

He pressed a quick kiss to the back of my neck, so fast I wasn't even sure he'd done it. Then he let go of me and rolled out of bed to pull his boots on. I kissed Arlene on the forehead and started untangling her from my body. She released me and I rolled out of bed as easily as possible. She wouldn't be up for another hour. I pulled my boots on and grabbed my hoody off the floor. It was always colder in the mornings. Daryl was leaning up against the doorway, watching me. I picked my bottle of mouthwash off the floor and swished a capful around in my mouth before I spit it down the tiny toilet in the corner of the cell. I tucked the blankets tighter around Arlene and followed Daryl out.

In the main area, Carol, Maggie, Glenn, Rick, Herschel, and Beth were staring at us. I was almost glad that my brother had been on duty instead of being part of the group that stared at us. He would have teased me and Daryl. Beth stated, "We need to get some stuff for Judith. We need supplies."

"I'll go," Daryl offered. "Me an Jesse kin hunt on the way back in."

"No, Maggie and I will go. We need you here," Glenn cut him off.

"It's really not a big deal," I offered. "We can be in and out. It'll take us half a day at the most. We could pick her up a crib and some new clothes."

"We can do it," Maggie said quickly. Daryl opened his mouth to argue and I realized why Maggie and Glenn wanted to go alone. I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Daryl, they're right. They should go. We have stuff we need to do here. We need to start clearing out the field and we have watch this morning."

"But…"

"Trust me. They need to go."

Maggie grinned at me and I rolled my eyes. I bumped Daryl's hip with mine and he scowled at me. I knew he didn't like teasing in public. He grabbed a water bottle and a couple pieces of meat that somebody had cooked. He tossed one to me and said, "Come on. Food on the go. Already late."

I followed him out the door. Once we were safely out of hearing distance, I informed him, "They want to go so they can have some alone time. They're tired of having sex in the guard tower."

"They're goin' into town so they kin fool 'round," he said disdainfully.

"Yep."

He grunted and replied, "Not me. I'm gonna take ya out to the field an get ya naked an take my time wit ya. Slow as can be. Till ya think yer goin' insane 'cause feels so good."

I looked up at him quickly and he blushed and looked away. It was as if he hadn't even realized what he was saying. I smiled and replied, "Daryl Dixon, I hope that's a promise you intend on keeping."

"Don' be talkin' 'bout stuff like that, woman."

I rolled my eyes and we relieved Carl and Rick of their duty. I looked up to see Johnny up in the guard tower. He smiled and waved at me. I waved back at him. Daryl and I patrolled the fence and then took our seats on the side of the semi-truck. I informed him, "Before all this, before the dead rose up, I used to love to lay in the sun. I would put all kinds of sun block on Arlene and we would lay out there. She would think she was getting a tan and I would let her. It was so nice."

He looked over at me and said quietly, "Ever tan nekked?"

I laughed and asked, "What happened to you being shy and telling me that it's not right for girls to talk about things like that?"

"Ain't a girl so I kin talk 'bout it."

I laughed and sat up. "Haven't you ever heard of the feminist movement?"

"'sat the one where girls move towards me?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed loudly. I got on my hands and knees and started crawling towards him like a predator. He demanded, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Taking part in the feminist movement."

He snorted and warned, "Quit it, Jesse. Ain't lettin' ya get the jump on me this time. Yer gonna jus get yerself in trouble 'gain."

"Well you've already kissed me so I don't see how I can get myself in trouble."

I moved towards him, looking up at him through my eyelashes and grinning dangerously. He growled, "Ya look damned creepy. Fuckin' quit it."

I giggled and kept moving towards him. I reached him and shoved him back onto his back. I climbed on top of him and started nibbling on his chest and shoulders. He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me so that my mouth wasn't pressed against his chest. He asked, "What are ya doin'?"

"I'm eating you," I informed him.

I leaned back down and started biting on his neck. He made a weird strangled noise in the back of his throat and sat up quickly. "Ya ain't a biter. Quit that!"

"Why, Daryl? You can take care of a walker but you can't take care of little old me." I bent my head and started nibbling on his ear lobe and growling lightly in his ear.

His huge, rough hands came to rest on my hips and squeezed tightly as he pushed me back. Our groins rested together and he warned, "This ain't fer right now, ya lil fuckin' psycho. We're takin' things slow an I can' have ya chewin' on me like ya are. Drivin' me damn nuts."

"You don't like a little bit of biting?" I pouted.

"Damn it, girl. Get ya ass over there an behave til tonight when I kin take ya out to the damn field an do somethin' else."

"Is that a promise, Daryl Dixon?"

"A damned solid one, ya lil psycho."

"I think I'm growing on you, Daryl. You so rarely throw in the fucking."

"Don' gotta say it now that yer my woman. I mean, don' they say that actions speak louder than words?"

I threw my head back and laughed loud. After patrol, I went up on the roof to work on the solar panels. I was trying to improve their energy supply or convert them to heat instead of photovoltaic. When I explained it to Daryl, he'd only shrugged. Maggie and Glenn left at two o'clock. They weren't back by the time we were eating dinner and we were all worried. Daryl promised that if they weren't back by the next day, he'd go get them and my heart clenched a little. Arlene looked up at me and asked, "They gonna be alright, Jezze Momma?"

"Jesse Momma?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Jezze Momma. When ya were up on the roof, Daryl says it's okay to call ya Jezze Momma 'cause it means you're my momma but it also means I got another momma out there somewhere. Ain't that right, Daryl?" She turned around and gave such a blinding grin to Daryl that he had no choice but to grin back. He grunted in approval. She looked back at me and asked unsurely, "He was right, weren't he? I can call ya Jezze Momma?"

"Yes, baby girl. You can call me Jesse Momma. But we are having a lesson in language the first chance we get and maybe while Daryl's out looking for Glenn and Maggie, he can pick up a book for us and we'll start teaching you how to read."

"Ya sure your redneck knows how to read, sis?" Johnny teased lightly.

"Ay, fu….fudge packer," Daryl finished quickly, staring down at Arlene nervously. It was clear that he'd noticed her mimicry of his accent and was worried about her mimicking his language as well.

"I saw ya ki….k-i-s-s-i-n-g," Johnny spelled out so Arlene wouldn't understand, "my sister down by the truck when ya were supposed to be patrolling'. So count it as a lil brother teasin' and be glad I ain't shootin' ya."

"Wouldn' do ya no good to try to shoot me," Daryl responded in what I hoped was good fun. "I'd get ya first."

Johnny laughed and warned, "We'll have to try sometime."

"If you do, you're both grounded," I warned as I finished my stew. I pushed the bowl towards the pile of dishes in the middle of the floor that needed washed and helped Arlene up. She'd finished eating a few moments before and it was her bedtime. I tucked her into bed, told her a story, kissed her on the cheek, and waited a moment with her until she fell asleep. Then I made my way back into the main area and found Johnny and Beth playing with Judith. Johnny winked at me and informed me, "Daryl went outside to 'smoke'. I figured you'd want to know, since you were about to tell me that you needed to go for a walk and all."

"I hate being your twin sometimes," I growled.

"But you love me all the time. Now go 'love' your man."

I rolled my eyes and warned, "I'm not telling you to do the same to your girl."


	16. Chapter 16

Beth blushed and I grabbed my hoody from where I'd left it hanging on the banister. I pulled it on and walked outside. I made it to the edge of the field before I saw Daryl. The cherry of his cigarette was glowing in the middle of the field. One tiny speck of red fire to light my way to where he was spread out in the middle of the grass, looking up at the sky. I sat down next to him and easily picked the cigarette from between his fingers. I took a long drag of it. I exhaled slowly as he sat up and wound his arm around my waist. He pulled my close and asked, "When did ya start smokin'?"

"I used to smoke before I met Arlene and Eric. Not a whole lot. Pack every three days. So that was good. But I quit after two months of dating Eric. I quit cold turkey because it is unhealthy to smoke around a child and teaches bad habits."

"Ya knew the kid fer two months an ya changed yer habits fer her?"

"I knew I wanted her in my life."

"Cause ya can' have kids of yer own?" he asked.

"Johnny tell you that?" Daryl looked down at the grass, embarrassed that he'd asked Johnny about me. I knew it was probably because "weren' what men did" or something like that. I informed him, "I think that was a part of it. I always wanted them, but I knew since I was about twelve that I'd probably never have them."

"How come?"

"When I was eight years old, I fell out of an apple tree and onto these two sticks poking up out of the ground. They went in me at an angle. Tore through my uterus, both my ovaries, and nicked my stomach. Did a real number on me. I was a half a mile from home and I walked all the way there, bleeding like a stuck pig. Johnny about near drowned in his own tears on the way to the hospital."

"Ya got scars from it?"

I nodded and took the last drag of the cigarette and flicked it away. We were quiet for a long time. Daryl was the first to break the silence. "What 'bout now? Now that the world is endin'? How do ya feel 'bout smokin' an bad habits now?"

"Still don't want her to have them. Lung cancer is a lot harder to care for when you have walkers on your tail all the time."

"Yer a good mom. She's gonna grow up real nice an be a proper lady an all."

I grinned and pressed my mouth to his. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. He said solemnly, "We ain't havin' sex. Ain't fuckin' ya. Said we were gonna take this slow an we are."

"So second base tonight?" I questioned.

"Whadaya count as second base?"

"First is kissing. Second is touching. Third is oral and home is all the way."

"Feel like a damn teenager 'gain askin' ya that. 'fore we know it, Johnny an Beth'll be havin' this same conversation."

"I don't know what you're into, but I don't like talking about my brother's sex life when I'm in the lap of the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life."

"Then shuddup an kiss me some, woman."

His lips on mine were so good. His hand found its way onto the back of my neck and his other hand made its way to my ass and he pulled me closer to him. I threaded my fingers through his hair to hold him to me and we kissed long and hard. Slowly, his hands made their way from my backside around to the front of my jeans and traced the waistband. I moved my mouth from his and kissed around to his ear so I could nibble on his earlobe. That was the motivation he needed to run his hands up my shirt and to the back of my bra so he could unsnap it. His big rough hands found my breasts and I couldn't stop my hips from bucking against him as he kneaded my breasts. He chuckled, "Like that?"

"Shut up," I growled. He explored my entire torso. He ran his hands up and down my back, finding scars I'd long forgotten about and massaging them with his fingers. It was like he was memorizing every inch of me while his lips seared against mine. Fifteen mind numbing moments later, he growled in my ear, "If ya don' stop grindin' on me like that, I'm gonna explode. Damn it kin I touch ya? Please say I kin touch ya. Let me touch ya, girl."

"Just fucking do it, Daryl," I snarled.

He rolled me so quickly that he slammed my back into the ground. He was graceful as he yanked my pants down over my ankles and past my boots. He didn't even bother taking them off, or my underwear for that matter. He simply shoved them down and kissed me hard as his fingers found my entrance. He slipped his fingers up and down the slickened folds, teasing me gently. His fingertips were feather light across my flesh. I moaned and panted, "Please, please, Daryl. More."

My body was on fire and he bent his head down to kiss my neck and collar bone softly. I could tell he was hesitant and I bucked my hips up so that his fingers drove into me. I bit down hard on my lip to stop the groan that was trying to escape. I begged, "More."

And he complied. God did he ever comply. He explored me, inside and out. His fingers stroked my walls while his thumb rubbed circles around my clit. He crooked his middle finger and thrummed a hard pattern against the rough bundle of nerves just inside of me. He was everywhere. While his fingers dragged moans and whimpers from below, his mouth smothered them before they could reach the night air and his other hand traced my body. Down to my hip, up to my breasts, and back down again. He pulled three orgasms from my tight, yearning body before he let me touch him.

But when he let me, I explored him. From his chest to his throbbing, long, hard cock. I wrapped my fingers around him and swiped my thumb across the top, gathering the glistening drops on the pad of my finger before bringing it to my mouth and licking it off. He groaned and his head slammed backwards in the grass. I reached down and grasped him again and he bucked into my hand. I stroked him, squeezing and twisting until I pulled his orgasm from him and wiped my hands on the grass next to us. I collapsed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his neck and whispered, "You have to come back tomorrow, Daryl. Promise me you'll be back. With or without anyone else. I love Glenn and Maggie but I need you. I know we're moving awful fast for a relationship, if this is what you want to call it, but my little girl loves you and I depend on you. So come back."

"Promise, I'll be comin' back ta ya. Won' say this 'gain an I won' say it in fronta nobody else. But I like ya. An I need ya too. An I'm comin' back."

I grinned and snuggled into his chest. I informed him, "I'm kind of tired. Let's go back up to the cell block before Johnny starts having a fit."

"Wit Beth there, he won' even know yer still gone."

"The mentioning my brother rule applies for when we're cuddling as well."

"Don' be callin' it cuddlin'. Ain't manly to cuddle."


	17. Chapter 17

Time for a little shameless begging. Seriously, I would rather my viewers tell me if my writing is wrong or bad than have no feedback. I'm starving for reviews here, people. But, because I have a whole hearted love for my readers, I still refuse to stop the weekly (when I'm able) updates simply for lack of reviews. So I have no punishment. I just want you to know that I'm begging. On my hands and knees.

Black girl outside the gates said Maggie an Glenn had been kidnapped. Knew as soon as she came limpin' up to the gates wit all them walkers avoidin' her like she was one of them that she was gonna bring some trouble wit her, an she did. Rick an Carl an me, we saved her. They were on patrol an I went down to talk to Rick 'bout getting' ready to go after Glenn an Maggie when she jus showed up, holdin' a basket of baby stuff. We yanked her in the gates an dragged her up to the cell block. I could see Jesse up on the roof an I hollered, "Jesse, come down here an come in an get Lil Bit. Go an take her out to the field."

"What's going on, Daryl?"

"Jus do it!" I yelled. "Don' want her in here if'n we gotta interrogate. Take her out!"

Jesse jumped down from the roof easily an landed roughly. She ran in an reappeared a second later wit Arlene behind her. She was sayin', "Come on, baby girl. We're going to practice letters in the dirt of the field."

Didn' need to listen to all of what the black girl said to us after we got her sword offa her an after she woke up. All I had to hear was that some fucker picked up Glenn an Maggie an took her off to some place. Some oasis in the middle of this fuckin' thing. But weren't a good place, from what she said. Some fucked up place out in the middle of nowhere where shit was supposed to be all nice an good. All I heard was that we had to go get the Chinaman an Herschel's daughter 'fore somethin' real bad happened to them.

Soon as we got done talkin' to her, we planned on what we were gonna do, me an the black girl an Rick were gonna go save our family, I went out to the field. We planned to leave in a hour an I couldn' do that without fillin' Jesse in on everythin'. She was my woman an she had the right to know. I went out to where she was scratchin' a letter E in the dirt and sayin', "E is the fifth letter in the alphabet. E is the first letter of your father's first name. Eric. E is for Eric. E is for elephant. E is for everything."

Hated the way her voice broke when she said her ex boyfriend's name. Didn' know if it was 'cause she had feelins for him or if it was 'cause Lil Bit missed him. Still didn' like it. So I went up behind her an sat behind her in the dirt so it was me, then her 'tween my legs an Lil Bit between hers. I rested my chin on her shoulder while she handed the stick to Lil Bit so she could try her hand at it. Then she looked back at me an asked, "What's going on?"

"Glenn an Maggie ran into some trouble in town. The black girl is gonna take us in an get them back. I'll tell ya more when I get back," I whispered, watchin' Lil Bit trace the letter in the dirt carefully while repeating its name.

"How much trouble?" she said real quiet so Lil Bit wouldn' hear.

"A bit. Nothin' fer ya to worry 'bout. I'll be back 'fore ya know it."

She nodded an took the stick from Lil Bit to write the next letter in the dirt. She said slowly, "F is for Finnegan, your last name. Finnegan. F is for Finnegan. F is for fire. F is for fighter."

"Promise you'll come back?"

"Promise ain't nothin' gonna stop me from comin' back to my woman an her lil girl. Try to pick up some learnin' stuff fer her if I have time. Can' have her learnin' all her letters in the dirt."

"No, I guess she can't." Her voice sounded too sad. Like she didn' believe that I was comin' back. So I reached around an grabbed her chin sorta rough but not enough to hurt her so that I could stare into her green eyes.

"I'm comin' back. Ain't like yer ex. Soon as I kin. 'm comin' back."

I shoulda held tighter to that promise. I shoulda believed it more. Maybe then, after the fight in that fuckin' town, after fightin' my brother, after Rick askin' me what 'bout Jesse, what 'bout Carol, maybe I woulda gone back to her an curled into her bunk wit her an fallen asleep wit her an Lil Bit. But I didn' do none of that. I went wit fuckin' Merle an I broke her.

"Why didn't he come back?" I heard Beth whisper to Carol as they tucked Judith into her tiny crate. "Why did he go with his brother? Merle sounds really mean."

"Sometimes, good people, like Daryl, get caught up in bad stuff. Men like Merle, bad men, they get into your head. They make you feel like you deserve the abuse. Like you don't have anything better in the world than them, and if you leave them, you'll lose the only thing you have in the world," Carol replied.

They were up on the perch where Daryl used to sleep and I knew they couldn't see me standing down below with Arlene on my hip. She was sleeping in my arms. It had been three days since Daryl hadn't returned and she hadn't been sleeping that well. She considered the man her savior and Rick's return with the news of Daryl's loss hadn't been met lightly by her. She refused to let me leave her side for fear that I would be gone too. Like her mommy, like her daddy, like Grandpa James (my father) and Grandpa Richey (my grandfather). So I walked her constantly. I only took patrols late at night so I could stay with her and I was on my second day without sleep. During the night, I took patrol, and during the day, I watched the newcomers who wanted to stay with us. I'd taken to carrying Arlene around on my back again, just in case we had to run. From the sounds of the Governor, we were in danger.

Johnny and Beth told Herschel they wanted to be together and he accepted it, glad his youngest daughter had found love the way his older daughter had. Love that would die for her. Love that would kill for her. I was happy for my brother. He only had a few more weeks until he would be off crutches and he was happy. Sad for me, but happy for himself. Whenever he tried to ask me about Daryl, I just told him that I didn't care what happened to the fucking redneck. After all, he was the one who had abandoned us.

I put Arlene to bed and watched her curl into the pillow Carol had tossed us after Daryl hadn't returned. She'd explained, "You and your little girl need anything extra. He had two so we're using one to line Judith's little bed."

I hated having the pillow. It smelled like sweat and grease and guns and him. I didn't even love him, but I felt a strong aching in my gut every time somebody said his name. It hurt like it had hurt watching Eric leave. I was so tired of men leaving me. I could still feel Eric's lips on my cheek right before he left. After he said that, if there was a chance that Kyra was alive, he had to go out there for her. Because she was Arlene's mom. Because, no matter what happened, he would always still love her a little. I believed him when he said he could love both of us. I believed him when he said he loved me. I was so tired of believing men every time they gave me a promise.

I kissed Arlene on the head and went into the main cell in time to hear Rick yelling about prisoners needing to leave. Them needing to get out. I knew they would be gone at first light, something I agreed with. Without Daryl around, hunting would be a chore and we didn't need any more mouths to feed. We had enough with the addition of me, Johnny, and Arlene and I was just happy they were letting us stay without Daryl around to convince them. I went on patrol, walking the fence slowly.


	18. Chapter 18

I promised never to punish my readers but rewarding them is completely different. Thank you so much for the reviews. Here's a faster upload for your efforts. I usually like to wait to build anticipation but, seriously, it means a lot to me that you took the time to review.

The next afternoon, I was in the cell block with Arlene on my back, on my way out the door, when I heard the first shots sound. I didn't think. I only acted. I raced back down the steps and grabbed Beth from where she was sitting with Judith. She was feeding the baby when I grabbed her arm up and yanked her towards the cell where Johnny was slowly standing up on his crutches. I shoved her inside and pulled Arlene off my back. I pushed her down into the bottom bunk and ordered, "Beth, get in there and do it now."

I yanked my Beretta out of the back of my pants and handed it to Johnny. I growled, "Anyone that isn't part of this group, shoot them in the face. Do not come back out until somebody from this group comes and gets you."

He nodded and I bent down to kiss Arlene on the forehead roughly. I whispered, "I love you, baby girl. Never forget that."

I looked up at my twin brother with blurry, tear filled eyes and he nodded at me steadily. It was our way of saying goodbye. Just in case I didn't return. I spun on my heel and slammed the cell door shut behind me. Without looking back at the family I was walking away from, I walked out into the gunfire in time to watch a van crash through our outer gate and let loose a stream of walkers. I felt a searing pain in my shoulder and, as soon as I'd entered the battle, it seemed to be over. Michonne, the black girl, pulled Herschel out. Axel was dead and Carol had me put my blade in the back of his head to make sure, and Carl, Maggie, and Glenn were okay. The only person missing was Rick.

"Where's your dad?" I demanded from Carl, knowing that the group would fall apart without his leadership.

"Jesse, I think he's coming. I think he's coming now!" Carol exclaimed behind me.

I turned around to see Rick Grimes running towards us with two other men on his heels. Carl tossed me a spare gun and Carol, Maggie, Glenn, Carl, and I took aim, firing at any walker who got close to the men. I ignored the burning in my left shoulder and focused only on helping the three men get into the gate. I didn't even register who the spare men were until Daryl Dixon's face was only a foot from mine.

"Jesse, ya got shot in the damn shoulder. Yer fuckin' shoulder is bleedin'."

"You're back," I said in awe.

"Course 'm back. Yer fuckin' shoulder is bleedin'! We need to get ya fixed up!"

"You're back. You left and now you're back."

"God damn it, woman!" Daryl moved closer to me to grab my shoulders and, without thinking, I swung on him, hitting him square in the jaw.

"God damn, baby brother! Bitch sure has a hook!" the older man cheered.

I ignored him and kicked out at Daryl's legs, dropping him to the ground. I dropped on top of him and started swinging, spraying blood from my injured shoulder and focusing solely on causing pain to Daryl Dixon. In between blows, I grunted, "Ya fuckin' said ya'd come back an ya didn'! Ya fuckin' left us here to die, ya fuckin' bastard! Ya left us here without carin' about us!"

"Fuckin' quit it, woman! Yer gonna hurt yerself worse!"

"Ain't nobody gonna fuckin' get her off my brother? Fuckin' crazy bitch is tryin' a kill him!"

I didn't even look at the man who was screaming about me trying to kill Daryl. I grabbed the gun I dropped on the ground and fired a shot in his direction. It must have missed him because he yelped and got back. The clip in the gun was empty so I threw it towards him.

"Arlene can' even fuckin' sleep now 'cause she's so scared, ya fuckin' inconsiderate, redneck, hillbilly, dumbshit, bastard!"

Suddenly, my mind went blank as he sat up and grabbed my arms. He moved forward quickly and pressed his lips to mine. He was expecting me to kiss him back. Instead, I bit him. Hard enough to draw blood, which I turned to the left and spit towards the older man who had to be Merle. I glared at him as he laughed, "I get it! This the fuckin' girlfriend ya had to get back to, Daryl? The reason ya had to fuckin' save people?"

I spit at him again and he took a step back. He called out, "Got a wild one on ya there, brother. Fuckin' crazy one."

I reached to my thigh for my hunting knife and Daryl realized what I was doing as I drew it quickly. His hands slid up my arms and his thumb found the bullet wound in my shoulder. With a grimace, he pressed and white heat flooded my body. I screamed in agony and the walkers outside the inner gates went crazy. I thought I heard Daryl whisper an apology as my mind went blank from the pain.

I woke up to Johnny holding my right hand tightly and whispering, "Hold on tight, sis. This is going to hurt."

My head was reclining in somebody's lap and I could see Carol at the corner of my vision. I could feel weight on my wrist, pressing it into cold concrete. Probably bruising it. Hershel was kneeling in front of me with a bottle of whiskey and some bandages. I shivered and realized I wasn't wearing a shirt, only my muddy, stained sports bra. From off to the far right, I heard Rick say, "You're going to have to gag her or her little girl's going to hear it."

"Put this in her mouth," Beth's voice called out.

"Hold on." Hershel leaned forward and ordered, "Drink some."

He poured whiskey into my mouth and it burned as it slid down my throat. I felt a pair of rough hands slide across my face as a cloth line was dropped into my mouth and I tilted my head back to stare into Daryl Dixon's clear blue eyes. I wanted to tell him to go the fuck away. I wanted to tell him to go die. Instead, I bit down as hard as I could so I wouldn't scream in agony as Hershel poured whiskey into the bullet wound in my arm.

"The bullet didn't go all the way through, sis," Johnny said in hushed, panicked tones. I looked up into my brother's green eyes and winced for him. He hated blood. It scared him. I wanted to tell him that it was okay not to look, but then I felt something hot digging into my arm and I looked over to see a pair of burning metal tweezers buried in the arm that Carol was pinning to the ground.

"We're so sorry, Jesse." My body bowed in agony and I felt weight on my feet, holding me down. I didn't look, I didn't want to see who my tormentors were.

"Shouldn' she be screamin'?" Daryl demanded. "Know she has the gag but she ain' makin' no noise. She ain' making no noise!"

"She might be in shock." I stared up at the ceiling and the light swam in front of my eyes.

"Ain't there anythin' we can do? Fer God's sake? She's in fuckin' pain!"

"Calm down, Darylina. She's gonna be fine. It's a fuckin' bullet hole. Not a bite."

"Ya shut the fuck up, Merle. Never shoulda fuckin' went wit ya. Shoulda fuckin' come back here like I said I would."

"An what, baby brother? Abandon yer only fuckin' family?"

"Both of you better shut the fuck up where my sister's involved or I'ma kill both of ya."

"Oh look! The cripple's gonna do somethin'!"

"Leave him the fuck out of it, Merle!"

"Shut the fuck up, Dixon. Ya don' have no say when it comes to Jesse anymore. I don' give a flyin' fuck what ya want or what he wants or what any fucker wants. Leave her alone!"

A shock ran through my body again and I came up off the floor. I wanted to just pass out again. I wanted to not feel. The cotton in my mouth choked me and made my mouth dry. It rubbed uncomfortably at my cheeks but Daryl's hands on the sides of my face held me still. Johnny's hand clenched tighter around mine. Hershel promised, "Almost done now, girl. Come on through, Jesse, you're doing just fine."

"Why can't I go in, Carl!? Where's Jezze Momma? What's going on?" Arlene's voice cut through everything else and I heard Daryl roar, "Fuckin' keep her out there! Fuckin' keep her out there!"

I struggled then, trying to sit up, trying to get to my little girl.

"Hold her still! I'm trying to stitch her up and if she keeps moving, I'm going to do more damage."

"Arlene's fine," Daryl's voice rang in my ear. "Lil Bit's fine. Yer fine. Yer gonna be jus fine. Shouldn'ta left ya. Shoulda come back like I promised. Fuckin' sorry. Fuckin' sorry."

Finally, my body snapped and blackness surrounded me.


	19. Chapter 19

"And Daryl taught me the rest of my letters today. But Merle called him a name that starts with an F. He even said F is for…"

"Lil Bit, get offa yer momma fer right now. She's still sleepin'. An don' be sayin' that word. I told ya it's not a good word."

"But Merle said it."

"Never repeat anythin' Merle says. Yer momma will tan yer hide an mine fer that."

"Uncle Johnny says that Jezze Momma won't go near you when she wakes up. He says that I shouldn't go near you anymore because you're a mean person and you hurt Jezze Momma."

"Well Uncle Johnny don' know everythin' now does he. Now come on an we can practice some more letters."

"Jess, Hershel says it's normal for ya to be sleepin' like this, 'cause of all the blood ya lost, but it's scarin' the shit out of me. It's scarin' the shit out of all of us. It's only been two days but it's gettin' hard to explain to Arlene why yer not awake yet. I shoulda learnt yer fuckin' blood type so I could figure out if anybody could give ya some. Ya know mine and Arlene's. I shoulda learnt yers. It's what a good brother woulda done."

"And today Uncle Johnny told me you're still sleeping like Sleeping Beauty. I didn't know Sleeping Beauty was so dirty though. Jezze Momma, you are very dirty. I asked Daryl to kiss you today. So that you would wake up. But he says that you don't want no kiss from him. Merle says that nobody wants a kiss from Daryl. I don't think that's true though because you wanted a kiss from him before. Uncle Johnny says I'm not supposed to talk about that."

"Lil Bit, come on outta there now. Yer momma will wake up soon. I promise. Fer right now, it ain't good fer a lil girl to be tucked away in a cell like that. Come on now."

"Don't tell her what to do, Dixon. She's Jesse's little girl. She can stay with Jesse if she wants."

"Look, we gotta face facts. If Jesse don' wake up like we want her to, ya want yer niece in their wit her when she wakes up as one of them. I don' wanna lose her, but ya gotta face facts, an part of that is protectin' Lil Bit if it happens."

When I first opened my eyes, the only thought I had was that I was damn thirsty. I pulled myself up out of bed and winced at the ache in my left shoulder. I looked over to find myself still wearing a sports bra and a pair of filthy jeans. I tried to get up from bed and found that my left ankle wouldn't move. I moved the blankets aside to find that they had tied me to the bed. I had to laugh a little. That was pretty ingenious. If I had turned, they would have been able to find me and take care of the problem. I briefly wandered who would have taken care of me. If it would have been Daryl or Johnny. Daryl was the obvious choice since he was a brazen asshole with no particular feelings about doing a dirty job.

Keeping my left arm as still as possible, I untied the rope and slid out of bed. I slipped out into the main area and was shocked by the sight that greeted me. Against the wall across from my cell door, lay Johnny, Daryl, and Arlene. Arlene was tightly wrapped in a blanket and sleeping soundly between Daryl and Johnny with Daryl's arm as her pillow. Johnny's crutches were discarded next to him and Daryl was wearing a stained jacket. I stared at them in surprise.

"Been like that since ya been out, girly," a gruff voice greeted me. I looked across the cell block to find the person I could only guess was Merle Dixon staring at me through cell bars. He was leaning against them casually with his arms between them and his forehead resting against them. "Baby brother won' even fuckin' leave that lil girl to come chat wit his older brother."

"Stay the fuck away from my little girl," I snarled. My voice made Johnny and Daryl grumble on the floor and I stopped talking quickly. Going in and out of consciousness had allowed me to hear some of their conversations and most of them were fights. I didn't want to deal with either of them until I got some water. I spied a bottle of water in the corner and made my way over to it quietly.

"Yer 'bout damn near silent," Merle commented. "Probably a good hunter. That what got my brother so tore up 'bout ya? Damn near losin' his mind when ya were getting that bullet taken out."

"Well he can lose his damn mind from a distance. I don't need him near me."

"Why? Cause he chose the only family he has left in the world over a girl he knew fer two weeks? Ya gonna tell me ya wouldn'ta done the same fer yer own brother?"

"Yes but my brother isn't a fucking asshole." I tipped my head back and downed the bottle of water quickly.

"Fair 'nough, girly. But Daryl ain't perfect either. He's an asshole too."

"He doesn't have to be," I snarled. "He can be a really great person."

"Great, ya turned my brother into a fuckin' girl. He was 'bout near sobbin' over yer fuckin' body when ya got shot."

"Shut up, or I'm going to stab you."

"Ya can' stab me. Rick an Daryl won' let ya."

I took a step closer to his cell and growled, "Rick and Daryl aren't here."

I turned on my heel and marched towards my cell. He chuckled, "See, girly. Ya ain't gonna stab me none."

I grabbed my machete off the floor beside my door and marched back. He was still standing there. Still grinning at me like a madman. It was then that I realized he only had one hand. The other was a hybrid of a hook/knife. I grinned and made my way towards the cell door. He called out, "Ay, girly, what are ya doin'? What are ya doin', girly? Fuckin' talk or quit it or somethin'!"

I drew my arm back and Merle was just a second faster than me as he jerked away and my machete slammed down on the cell door with a metallic clang. Shouts filled the room around me as it woke people up. Daryl came up off the ground like a shot and Johnny grabbed Arlene. Daryl took a defensive position in front of both of them. Beth, Carl, and Maggie raced out of their cells and I just stood there, staring at Merle and daring him to come near me. Hershel's crutches clicked on the concrete as he rushed to join us and I could hear Rick and Glenn shouting outside, racing towards the inside. But I just stood there, gripping the handle of my blade and staring Merle down.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Rick demanded.

"This crazy bitch tried to kill me!"

"He deserved it."

"Jezze Momma!" Arlene cried out. I dropped the machete as she raced towards me. I fell to my knees so I could hug her without having to lift her up. She buried her face in my neck and cried out, "I was so scared! I was so scared! Daryl an Uncle Johnny said ya were gonna be fine but I was still so scared!"

"I'm fine, baby girl. I'm fine and you're fine," I whispered into her hair. I held her tightly to my body and held back the tears in my eyes.

"I know all my letters now! I know all my letters!" she said happily. Then she sang the alphabet quickly and beamed at me.

"That's so good, baby girl. That's so amazing. You did so good! I'm so proud of you!"

"Daryl taught me! We drew letters in the dirt an counted an drew an sang. He said it would be good to show ya when ya woke up! He said ya'd like it!"

I ignored the accent in her voice and hugged her tighter to me. I stood back up as Johnny walked over and tossed his crutches down to the floor so he could throw his arms around me and squeeze me to him. I closed my eyes against the pain in my shoulder. He gasped, "Thought I lost ya, sis. Thought I lost ya and thought I was gonna have to keep Arlene and deal with Daryl 'cause he wasn't gonna to leave and I was gonna have to share Arlene with him and I hate him and…"

"Johnny, breathe," I ordered. "I'm alive. I'm fine. I still have Arlene. You still have me."

Johnny stepped away and Daryl moved forward but not close enough to touch me. I glared at him and he looked down shyly at the floor. He mumbled, "Glad yer okay."

"Ya need to get yer bitch, baby brother! She tried to kill me!"

I bent down to pick up my machete and pointed it at Merle. I hissed, "I warned you that I was going to do that. Watch your mouth around my little girl."

I turned to Rick and commanded, "I want to be filled in on everything."

"Daryl can do it."

"Fine." I kissed Arlene on the cheek and made my way outside. Daryl followed me slowly. As soon as we made it out into the dark, cold night, Daryl said quickly, "'m sorry, Jesse. Shoulda come back. I knew that soon as I left that I shouldn'ta left wit Merle. Knew I shoulda come back an curled up wit ya an Lil Bit an helped teach her letters."

"But you didn't. So it doesn't matter. Tell me about the war we are facing."

"Jesse, yer still my woman."

"I'm not. You left. You promised you would come back and you left."

"But I did come back. Not right away, but I did come back."

I turned and poked him in the chest hard. "I had to tell my little girl that you were gone. I had to tell her that you left and that you weren't coming back."

"But I did come back."

"And what about next time? What about if you get hurt or bit or die? Then I have to tell her all over again that you're gone. Except she'll think you're coming back, because it's what you did this time. But you won't come back. You'll be gone and she'll have all this hope and I'll be the one who has to shut her down."

"I won't leave again. I won' die."

"Just tell me about this war we're entering and don't talk to me about any relationship."

I stood there and listened to the war we were about to enter. Next to the man that still twisted my gut into pieces. But I pretended not to care because it was easier.


	20. Chapter 20

"Who's she?" Jesse asked. It was the first time in days she said somethin' to me that wasn't 'Shut the fuck up, Daryl Dixon' or 'You best get your fucking brother away from my daughter.'

"Andrea. Fuckin' traitor." I turned an spit on the ground. I didn' want her holdin' Lil Asskicker but everyone else seemed happy to see her. I was just glad that Jesse had Lil Bit up on her hip. Her left arm was all bandaged up but she was good wit only one arm from all the time she spent runnin' 'round wit Arlene on her back, protectin' her an stuff. Jesse wouldn' let Arlene near Andrea 'cause she didn' know her none an it reminded me of when they first got there an Jesse was sure that we were all gonna hurt her lil girl.

"Mouth, Daryl," she warned, bouncin' Arlene on her hip. Johnny was on duty watchin' Merle. Jesse weren' allowed near him 'cause she tried to kill him twice after that first day. He'd only been there three days. My brother was all I had, but she was right in wantin' to kill him an we both knew it. I spent all my time makin' sure she weren' gonna get her hands on him. Even if it meant that she spent all her time hatin' me.

"Sorry." She nodded an handed me Arlene. Lil girl went right to me an wrapped her arms 'round my neck. Just because me an Jesse weren' gettin' along didn' mean she took Lil Bit away from me. I appreciated that. She thought real hard 'bout it for the first day but then Lil Bit woke up cryin' for me an she let it go. Andrea looked over at us an waved. I nodded back at her. She musta took that to mean that it was okay to come over an meet Jesse, even though Jesse was givin' her a glare like to kill a man.

"I hear you're Jesse."

"I hear you're sleeping with the man that almost got my friends killed." Short. To the point. I laughed. Arlene stared up at me an poked me in the cheek.

"Looks to me like I'm not the only one sleeping with a man known to be a killer," Andrea bit back, glaring at me. Before she could get out of the way, Jesse grabbed hold of all that blonde hair an wrapped it tight 'round her fist. She ripped her knife offa her thigh an Andrea yelped, drawin' everybody's attention. Jesse dragged Andrea's face real close to hers so she could mutter without Lil Bit hearin'.

"Look, bitch, that's my little girl right there and I'd take kindly to it if you wouldn't talk about Daryl like that in front of her. You haven't been here and you don't know shit. You've been sitting on your ass out there, not knowing or caring if my family is dying in here. So go over there to the people who have some faith in you and don't bother me or mine again."

Jesse let go of her hair an shoved her away an spit in her direction. Andrea glared at her but knew better to pick her battles. She took off back over to Rick an Michonne. I murmured, "Ought not to do that, Jesse. Sets a bad example."

"Shut up, Daryl. We're teaching Arlene how to defend herself."

I didn' admit it to no one, specially not Merle, but I liked it when she said 'we' when she was talkin' 'bout raisin' Lil Bit or talkin' 'bout takin' care of her. When Rick asked 'bout Arlene's learnin', Jesse said **we** was doin' it. When Beth talked 'bout Lil Bit needin' new clothes, Jesse said **we** would take care of it when the thing wit the Governor settled down. I agreed, "Alright. Jus sayin' ya need to teach her how to not pull hair in a fight."

"I wasn't pulling her hair," Jesse argued. "I was holding her head still so I could have a civil conversation with her."

"Nothin' civil 'bout that."

"Daryl, Jezze Momma, when she leaves can we play today?" Lil Bit spoke up.

"Sure, baby girl," Jesse said quickly. "What do you want to play?"

"Ummm….can we play….hide and seek?"

"No," I answered 'fore Jesse could. "Don' want ya outta our sight, Lil Bit. Somebody oughta always be able to see ya."

"Oh. Well can me and Jezze Momma hide and you come find us."

"No, honey," Jesse said. "We need to stay with the group until everything calms down."

"Oh….can we play….tag?"

"Yeah. We can play tag. But you can't run near the fence. Okay?"

Lil Bit nodded an wriggled 'round to get up on my shoulders. I held her hands an Jesse reached up to play wit her hair. Was almost normal. Andrea left the next mornin', promisin' us she'd set up a meetin'. We met that night, after the kids went to bed, to talk 'bout it.

"Who wants to go?" Rick asked.

Me, Herschel, Jesse, an Glenn raised our hands up. Rick said, "Glenn, we need you here. Daryl, Jesse, Hershel, you can come. It'll be a few days. I'm taking Michonne and Carl and going out for supplies in King County tomorrow. Carl wants to help get a crib for Judith. You guys can hold down the fort until we get back, then we'll all go to the meeting with the Governor."

"No," Johnny an me said at the same time. "Not Jesse."

"She's injured," Johnny explained quick.

Jesse rolled her eyes. "It's my left arm, Johnny. I'm fine. I can still do everything with my right arm."

"He's right. Yer hurt!"

"I'm fine. Johnny, do you remember a few months before we got to the prison, when I dislocated my right shoulder and still managed to kill six walkers?"

"That was different," he argued. "Ya had to. Now ya can be safe here. Ya don' gotta be puttin' yerself in danger."

"Hershel has one leg and he's going!" she protested. "I'm going and that's that."

"That's not that!" I snapped. "Ya ain't goin'! Ya gotta stay here! Ain't good fer ya to be out there!"

"Daryl, you have no say in me, and we both know that! Now you both sit there and shut up. Besides Daryl, I'm the best shot here and I'm the best with a knife and, thanks to Johnny's big mouth, we all know that I'm not afraid to use my knife on a bad man. So both of you shut up. Johnny, you and Beth will watch Arlene while I'm gone and when I get back, I'll work on fixing the solar panels some more. Everything will be fine."

"It better be! God damn fuckin' woman don' listen to nothin', specially not when people takin' care of her an Lil Bit!" I jumped up an walked out. She didn' come after me. I walked 'round the yard till I calmed down an then went back inside. Carol was waitin' on me. Everybody else had gone to duty or to bed.

"You can't yell at her like that every time she won't do what you want," Carol said all soft like she always spoke.

"Ain't 'bout doin' what I want. Tryin' to keep her ass safe. Don' want her gettin' hurt. Again. Done seen that. Done caused that." I leaned up against the rail next to Carol.

"Daryl, you didn't cause her to get hurt."

"If I'da been here, if I hadn'ta gone wit Merle, I woulda been able to protect her. She wouldn' a been out there gettin' shot. I'da kept her safe."

"Daryl, sometimes you can't keep everybody safe. Things happen."

"Like they did wit Sophia?" Felt ashamed when I saw the hurt in Carol's eyes.

"Daryl, it's been a long time since my little girl died. And that wasn't your fault either. You know that. There wasn't anything you could have done. You were there when it mattered. Just like you've been for Jesse and Arlene."

"Coulda done more. Promised her I'd come back an I didn'. Wouldn'a been out there if I'da come back. Now she can't even deal wit me half the time. I messed up. If I die, she might forgive me after I'm dead. If she dies, she ain't never gonna be able to let me apologize right."

"Daryl, she's already forgiven you. She doesn't know it, but she has. Do you think she would let you near Arlene if she hadn't? She's treating you like a wife treats a husband when they've had a fight. She's mad. She's pissed off and she wants to hit you some more, but she won't, because she cares about you, and I know you care about her too. Don't stop her from going. Just go with her, and keep her safe. She'll forgive you if she's alive to do it. Just keep her alive."

"I won' let her die. I won' let her get hurt."

"Good." Carol kissed me on the cheek 'fore she went back to her cell for the night. I made another trip 'round the cell block an looked in on Jesse an Lil Bit 'fore I went up to my bed. They were sleepin' wit Jesse curled 'round Lil Bit an both their heads on my pillow. She hadn't noticed that I took hers 'stead of takin' mine back. Her pillow smelled like her. From his cell, Merle said real quiet, "They ain't goin' nowhere, baby brother. Got ya scared she is 'cause she got ya pussy whipped. But they ain't goin' nowhere."

"Shut up, Merle."


	21. Chapter 21

**Surprise middle of the week update because it's Wednesday, you guys were amazing with reviews, and I'm feeling really happy! Happy June!**

"You be good for Johnny and Beth, okay, baby girl?"

"Yes, Jezze Momma."

I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight before I handed her over to Daryl so he could say his goodbyes. It was a little strange, watching him with Arlene. He was a big, dirty redneck with a crossbow strapped to his back and a jean jacket with angel wings on it, holding a tiny little blonde girl. Most of the time, the man scowled. But when he was holding Arlene, it was like his entire world was right there in his hands. It was the reason I couldn't keep him away from her. I'd never even seen Eric look at her like that, and she was his daughter. Daryl loved her unconditionally. Even with the problems between the two of us, I would trust her life to him.

He murmured something to her and made her giggle before she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. Daryl promised, "Me an yer momma be back 'fore too long, okay?"

"I know, Daryl. 'Cause you love me and Jezze Momma."

He looked over at me for a second before nodding and saying, "Course I love ya, Lil Bit. Person'd be a fool not to."

He put her down and we both kneeled in front of her to give her one last hug and tell her goodbye. I looked up to find Johnny and Merle watching us with similar scowls. Johnny because he didn't want Daryl anywhere near Arlene and didn't understand why I let him, and Merle because he didn't want Daryl to have a heart and couldn't understand why he loved my little girl so much. I picked Arlene up and carried her over to Johnny. I kissed my brother on the cheek and whispered, "I love you, Johnny. I'll be back before tomorrow."

"Love ya too, Jess. Don' kill Daryl."

I grinned at him. Across the cell, Merle growled, "Don' get fuckin' eaten. Just got ya back an yer already out there fuckin' off fer this bunch a rejects. Big fuckin' pussy."

Daryl snapped back, "Watch yer fuckin' mouth when Arlene's 'round. She starts repeatin' that shit, I'll kick yer ass. Don' fuck wit Johnny while I'm gone an leave Michonne alone. Try to 'pologize to Glenn an Maggie for what ya did."

"Ain't fuckin' 'pologizin' to no slant eye."

"Ya will if ya wanna stay here, Merle. I'll see ya tonight."

We followed Rick and Hershel out to the truck. At the warehouse where they were meeting, Andrea and two men were waiting. I said, "See, it's a good thing I came along. Now we're all even. There's a man like Daryl." I nodded towards the Mexican with the baseball bat. "A man like Hershel." I nodded towards the man that was clearly an intellectual. "And a bitch like me."

"Shut up, ya lil fuckin' psycho."

As soon as we arrived, Andrea showed Rick inside, avoiding me the whole time. The intellectual introduced himself as Milton and the Mexican as Martinez. I knew as soon as I saw him that he and Daryl were going to have a pissing contest. His first words to us were, "Damn, redneck. That ass belong to you? Don't see many of her type in Woodbury. You can tell she's looking for something."

"Shut the fuck up, spic! Ya keep yer fuckin' eyes offa her. Don' look at her, don' talk to her, don' even think 'bout her."

"I'm nothing if not a gentleman. I'll let her ask me to touch her."

"Won' be askin' ya fer nothin'!"

Daryl reached over and grabbed my arm. He yanked me close to his side and glared. I rolled my eyes and prepared for a long day of Daryl Dixon being an asshole. He shrugged his jean jacket off and handed it to me. He ordered, "Put it on. Yer shirt don' cover much."

I looked down at the green tank top I was wearing and raised my eyebrow at him. He knew I was still pissed at him for leaving. He growled, "Ain't 'bout ya bein' my woman or bein' wit me. 'bout that fuckin' spic over there thinkin' yer my woman an thinkin' yer wit me. Won' have him fuckin' 'round here tryin' to grab at ya. Put it on or go over there wit the ol' man an the pussy. Ain't a fuckin' request, Jesse."

I rolled my eyes and snatched the jacket away from him to yank it on. I hated doing it but I knew when to pick my battles with him. I didn't put it past him to snatch me up and chain me to Herschel if he thought it would keep me safe. He wasn't worried about me being mad at him. That was rare. The only other men that were never afraid of my temper were Johnny and my daddy. Eric had always shied away from it, avoided fights at all costs. Daryl didn't give a fuck if I was mad or ready to tear him into pieces. He'd do whatever it took.

Fifteen minutes later, when Andrea came back out, I was sitting on the hood of the truck with Daryl leaning against the hood beside me with his crossbow armed and in his hands. His eyes stayed on Martinez, who I was talking to about his dead family. Andrea strayed over and asked, "Can I talk to you…Jesse?"

"Talk." I ordered.

"Away from the men. I figured maybe we could talk about what happened the other day."

"Me almost kicking your ass because you don't know how to watch your mouth around my daughter?"

"Daughter? You're a mom?" Martinez asked. "You don't look like any mom I've ever seen. Is the redneck your baby daddy?"

"What's it to ya if I am?" Daryl snarled.

"It's not his daughter," Andrea spoke up.

Daryl's eyes narrowed and his grip on the crossbow tightened. He looked like he was considering shooting the woman. "Might as well fuckin' be so watch yer fuckin' mouth when yer talkin' 'bout Jesse an Lil Bit. Lil Bit is mine."

"Daryl, she isn't yours!" I cried out.

"She is, Jesse. Don' care if ya ain't wantin' to be wit me or if ya don' give a shit 'bout me. Ain't givin' up Lil Bit. She ain't mine like she's yers but it's kinda like that. Ain't gonna let ya tell me it ain't."

I stared at him and he stared back at me, his crystal blue eyes burning into my soul. It was another time for me to pick my battle. It wasn't like it wasn't true anyway. In just a few short weeks, Daryl laid claim to Arlene, and I knew that he wouldn't hurt her. He'd made a mistake once with her and, even though I wasn't forgiving him, I knew he'd protect her.

"He's right," I agreed without taking my eyes off of his. "Arlene's just as much his as she is mine."

"God damn!" Martinez chuckled. "World ends and the fuckin' redneck finds his soul mate and a kid. Funny thing this apocalypse."

"Ain't that right," Daryl snorted. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Andrea. I demanded, "What the fuck do you want?"

"To apologize. And to talk."

"Fine," I grunted.

I slid off the hood of the truck and started over towards Andrea. Daryl reached out and grabbed my arm quickly. He dragged me to his side and hissed, "Ya know what yer doin'?"

"I'm going to talk to the blonde bimbo over there about her guilty conscience."

"Not safe."

"I'll be fine, Daryl."

"Holler if ya need anythin' an don' hesitate to kill her."

"I never hesitate to kill anyone or anything standing in the way of me getting back to Arlene."

He nodded and his hand lingered on my arm. I promised, "I'll be back, Daryl. And you know I don't make promises I won't keep."

"Me either. Not anymore."

He let go of me and I made my way over to Andrea. She nodded to the side of a warehouse and I followed her. I leaned against it and studied her warily. She said quickly, "I just wanted to apologize for at the prison. It wasn't right to talk like that in front of your daughter, but you did attack me first."

I shrugged and replied, "I don't know you. All I know about you is that you're sleeping with the man who stormed into a place with children and tried to kill our entire group. My daughter is five years old. My brother is on crutches. Judith is a baby. I know Carol told you to take care of that man in there and you couldn't do it. I don't know what you went through, but I know that once upon a time, that group was your family. Carol told me that the reason you're alive is because of that group. And you chose a dick over them."

"I didn't choose sex over them!" she hissed. "I chose a life over them! Woodbury is a safe place. We have women and children there just like you do, but our group is much bigger than yours!"

"Killing isn't measured in how many you kill. It's measured in why you kill. They went to your town to get our people back. You came to our place to kill us for something you started."

"They didn't know if your group was dangerous or not! They've come across dangerous groups before!"

"You're trying to tell me that Merle didn't know that Glenn and Maggie weren't dangerous? You're telling me that it isn't god awful that the Governor kept it from you, when you know that he had to know that if Merle knew them, you knew them? You don't see anything wrong with that?"

"It doesn't matter! He was trying to protect people. He was trying to do what was right!"

"You keep telling yourself that, because, in the end, it doesn't matter what I think. I'm not the one who lives with him. I'm the one who's going to do whatever is necessary to keep him away from my family."

I turned to walk away and she demanded, "What about Daryl? You think you know him so well? You think he's some perfect guy? Because he's not!"

I spun around and my hand found her throat quicker than I realized what I was doing. I snarled low, "Listen here, bitch, you think you know Daryl, but you know shit about him. I know what he's done for that group. I know you chained his brother to a roof and left him to die and he didn't kill you in your sleep. That's more than I would have ever done. I know he went looking for that little girl when she disappeared on Hershel's farm when the rest of you wanted to believe she was dead so you could brush over it like it as nothing. Wipe it off your conscience."

"She was dead!" She struggled against my hand and I slammed her harder against the warehouse wall.

"But you didn't know that! I know that Daryl was the voice I heard screaming at Rick to let me in because I had a little girl on my back! If he hadn't been there, my little girl and my brother would be dead! So you don't to tell me shit about Daryl. You can go to fucking hell."

"Wow, and here I was thinking you two were in the middle of a fight."

"I don't care what you're thinking. I don't need opinions from the one brain cell you have left."

"You should try to be more civil."

"You should try to be quieter."

I walked back over to the truck where Daryl and Martinez were just walking up, both of them smoking. I climbed onto the hood of the truck and Daryl took his place beside me, leaning against the hood and smoking while he talked. When Rick came out, neither of us mentioned what we'd done while the other was busy. We just went back to the prison. I took Arlene and borrowed Hershel's bible to read to her. He helped Carol with Judith.


	22. Chapter 22

"Jesse. Jesse, wake up. I wanna talk to ya."

She rolled over an stared up at me an I felt kinda bad 'cause I woke her up when she was sleepin' so good. But I needed to talk to her 'fore things went to shit.

"Can it wait until morning, Daryl?"

"Nah. 'bout the group. 'bout what's goin' on wit the Governor. Rick told me somethin' I wanna talk to ya about."

She rolled outta bed an I liked lookin' at her. It was late. Real late an it was one of the first nights she weren' on duty. Her hair was all messy 'cause she'd taken it out of her braid an her eyes were real sleepy an she didn' have any shoes on. She looked sexy as hell. I wanted to touch her but I didn'. She pulled her boots on an didn' bother lacin' them up. She followed me outside without another word. When we got outside, she stared up at me an yawned.

"What, Daryl?"

"Rick wants to give the Governor Michonne. Governor said that if he does, he'll leave us be."

"He won't."

"I know. I don' want him to, but he ain't askin' me. He's askin' Merle to help us. Only people know right now are me, Hershel, Rick, Merle, an ya. I jus needed to tell somebody who'd get it." I looked away from her. I didn' wanna tell her that it didn' set right with me. That it didn' feel right to be doin' that to somebody who'd never done us no harm. Somebody who'd helped us save our asses an saved their asses when I was gone.

"You're a good man, Daryl. Is that what you're afraid of? That, by not stopping him, you'll be a bad man?"

"Not 'fraid of anythin'," I grunted.

She laughed real soft an stepped closer to me. She ordered, "Come here. I'm still mad at you, and this doesn't mean I'm your woman or that we're back together. Just come here."

I stepped over to her an she wrapped her arms 'round my waist. I leaned into her an put my arms 'round her shoulders. I sat my head on top of hers an was happy that she was touchin' me. Her lil fingers went up an down my back all nice an soft. She whispered, "You're a good man, Daryl. It's not right what Rick is doing, but he's the leader of this group, and you'll do what you feel like is right."

"Tryin' to get Merle to 'pologize to Maggie an Glenn. He's gonna make it right, Jesse. He'll do whatever he has to. He jus wants to stay here. He's not all bad."

"Daryl, I don't know Merle that well, but I do know that he's difficult."

"Yeah, but he's gonna try. I promise he is. He won' be hollerin' an carryin' on an stuff. I wanna introduce him to Lil Bit. He seen me wit her a few times an I wanna let him hold her an stuff 'fore everythin' happens. Be the closest thing I ever have to a daughter an he has to a niece."

"Daryl, Merle is dangerous. I don't want Arlene in danger."

"I'll be there," I promised. "Won' let nothin' happen to Lil Bit. Be okay. Ya know I wouldn' do nothin' to get her hurt."

"Daryl…"

"Please, Jesse," I begged a lil. "Jus wanna give him a chance to know her 'fore everythin' falls to shit. We never know when things are gonna go bad."

"When do they plan on handing her over?"

"Two days."

"Are you going with them?"

"That's the plan."

"You'll be careful, right?" Her voice shook a lil an I lifted her face up to look at me. Her eyes were all shiny from tears.

"I can' promise I'll be back. Won' do that to ya an Lil Bit 'gain. Jus wanna promise I'll try."

"Daryl, are you introducing Arlene to Merle so he will want to come back to the prison? So you won't have to choose between us?"

"Done chose ya an Lil Bit. Brought my brother 'long wit me. Don' wanna have to make the choice again."

She nodded an put her head on my chest 'gain. She said real quiet, "Tomorrow, you, Arlene, and I will have a family meet and greet."

I nodded 'gainst her head. She informed me, "I'm still mad at you for leaving."

"Don' matter. Ya an Lil Bit, yer my family."

"If you want, Arlene and I can sleep with you tonight."

"Really?"

"Don't get any ideas, Daryl. She'll sleep in between us."

"I kin deal with that."

I followed her back inside an picked up Lil Bit from her bed. We laid on my cot wit Lil Bit in 'tween us an us facin' each other. 'fore too long, she was sleep, breathin' real calm an all relaxed an I was able to be sleepin' soon after.

Next mornin', nobody mentioned us sleepin' together but Johnny was glarin' somethin' awful. She got up an braided Lil Bit's hair an fussed over her, getting' her ready an stuff. I told her, "Jus Merle, Jesse. Don' have to make her look real nice."

"What are we doing, Jezze Momma?" Lil Bit asked.

Jesse looked up at me wit those mossy green eyes an motioned fer me to join her in fronta Lil Bit. I got on my knees in fronta the lil girl. Jesse took her hands an said real serious," Baby girl, do you remember your daddy Eric?"

Lil Bit's nose wrinkled an she said, "Kinda. I 'member when he left. 'member, Jezze Momma, we were cryin'?"

"I remember, honey." Jesse's voice was all tight an shaky. "Do you remember your mommy."

Lil Bit thought real heard an shook her head. Jesse continued, "Well, you know how I'm your Jesse Momma."

Lil Bit nodded. "Would it be okay if Daryl was your new daddy? You don't have to call him that if you don't want to. It's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Daryl and I have just been thinking that it's good for you to have a mommy and daddy. I just.."

"I get a daddy?" Lil Bit's whole face lit up. "Like Carl and Judith? I get to have a daddy?"

"If you want one."

Lil Bit grinned an gave me a real big hug. Jesse wiped her eyes an breathed in real deep. I asked, "Wanna meet yer new uncle?"

"Is he the big scary man in the cage that Jezze Momma's always fighting with?"

"Yeah, but he ain't gonna hurt ya. Him an yer momma don' like each other but he'll love ya. 'm just gonna talk to him first while ya an yer momma eat breakfast."

I handed Lil Bit to Jesse an went to see Merle. He was tearin' mattresses 'part, lookin' fer drugs.

"Merle," I called out, "come over here. I needa talk to ya."

"Rick already talked to me, baby brother."

"Ain't 'bout that."

Merle walked over an stared at me. I didn' smile at him or nothin'. He asked, "This 'bout the Chinaman an his girlfriend 'again, 'cause I done told ya I ain't 'pologizin'."

"Not 'bout that, but ya are gonna make that right."

"Damn, Darylina, ya grew some balls since I been gone."

"Merle, ya ever thought 'bout bein' an uncle?"

"Nope. Always thought ya were too much of a pussy to knock a girl up. Which one did ya get to? Couldn' a been the lil blonde since she's wit that cripple brother of yer woman. Don' figure it was the Chinaman's girl, even if somebody oughta get in there on that. Kin that ol' lesbian get pregnant? How ol' is too ol' to get pregnant? Anyway, don' figure much that it's her. Did ya knock that youn' girl up? The one been tryin' to kill me an ya?"

"Didn' knock nobody up. Adopted Jesse's lil girl."

Merle laughed loudly an said, "Yer an idiot, brother. Ya ain't never gettin' outta this group now."

"Don' want outta this group, Merle, an we both know that. Lil Bit's my kid now, which makes ya her uncle, an I want her to know a lil 'bout ya in case a we all die."

"So what? Ya want me to have family dinners an go to soccer games? 'Cause that ain't the world anymore, baby brother."

"Jus want ya to meet her. Want her to have a family. Want ya to be my brother."

"We're trash, Daryl. Ya tryin' to settle down wit a family, that ain't us. 'fore all this, ya wouldn'ta been wit a girl like her. Kinda funny, Darylina. Most people had a white picket fence 'fore all this. Yer tryin' to have it after the world's done fall apart."

He was right but I weren' givin' up. I growled, "Picket fence don' matter none, Merle. 'm jus tryin' to take care of Jesse an Lil Bit an parta that is tryin' to make things a lil like they were 'fore. An parta **that** is lettin' her know her bastard uncle. So 'm gonna get Jesse an Lil Bit an yer gonna be respectful."

"This ya tryin' to get them to let me stay, Daryl? Ya make a lil girl depend on me an they see I ain't some kinda monster."

I turned an walked off.


	23. Chapter 23

Jesse an Lil Bit finished up breakfast an Jesse was cleanin' Lil Bit up wit a rag that was only kinda dirty. Johnny was bitchin', "Don' like it none, Jesse. That redneck is crazy. Ain't safe for ya or Arlene."

"Johnny, Daryl and I are going to take care of Arlene. He won't let anything happen to her."

"I don't like that none either, Jess. A week ago, ya wanted to rip his head offa his body an ya tried. Now ya an Arlene are sharin' his bed."

"Johnny, shut up. Daryl and I are co-parenting."

"So what? Yer with him just because Arlene needs a dad? Yer gonna do to him what Eric did to ya. Are ya gonna tell him ya love him jus 'cause he's takin' care a Arlene? Ya gonna ask him to marry ya, jus like Eric did to ya."

Jesse's eyes closed an I could tell she was hurtin'. I growled, "Shut up, Johnny. She ain't tellin' me she loves me an neither of us talkin' 'bout gettin' hitched. She ain't wit me, 'less she wants to be. She ain't gotta be wit me fer me to wanna take care a Lil Bit. Ain't like that. So quit bein' an ass."

"Mouth," Jesse warned. She got up an picked up Lil Bit. Lil Bit's face was scrubbed clean an Jesse's was missin' some dirt too. I glared at Johnny an he glared right back. He an I hadn' gotten along since Jesse got shot. He was bein' an annoyin' fuckin' ass. Jesse followed me to where Merle was sittin' at his table. He'd kinda cleaned up his space. He'd kicked all the mattress bits into a corner. Jesse held Lil Bit tighter an Merle looked her up an down. She was wearin' a pair of pants wit all the pockets that were loose on her an hung down a lil, showin' her hips an the skin of her belly. Her tank was a lil small anyway an havin' Lil Bit on her hip made it rise a lil higher. Her skin was real dark from bein' in the sun all the time an all that dark hair was lightenin' up. I didn' like the way my brother was lookin' at her an, sure nuff, he whistled an said, "I sure am glad Darylina brought ya in here. My memory from 'fore ain't too good. Need somethin' new fer late nights."

"Shut it, Merle," I said at the same time as Jesse growled, "Not around my daughter, you pig."

"Are you my uncle?" All a us were kinda surprised when Arlene spoke up.

"I'm Daryl's brother."

"Daryl's my new daddy. What do I call you?"

"Ya call me Merle."

"I call Johnny Uncle Johnny. He's Jezze Momma's twin."

"Yer awful chatty fer an ankle biter." Jesse glared at him.

"I'm not allowed to bite," Lil Bit informed him. "I got in trouble for biting once."

"I had to pick her up from daycare two hours early," Jesse explained. "I missed my math class."

Lil Bit wriggled down outta Jesse's arms an took a step towards Merle. Jesse grabbed her shoulder to keep her from goin' anywhere else. Lil Bit asked, "What's wrong with your hand?"

"Don' know whatchur talkin' 'bout."

"Course you do." Lil Bit shook off Jesse's hand an stomped over to Merle at the table. She grabbed his regular hand an said real serious, "See? You got fingers here, like me." She reached up high as she could an shook her hand in his face. Then she poked his knife hand an told him. "That's a knife."

"I know that's a knife. I ain't stupid."

She climbed up on the seat beside him an said, "Well you shoulda said that when I asked."

Merle chuckled. "I guess I shoulda. What's yer name, ankle biter?"

"Arlene, knife hand."

Jesse an I watched with our mouths open. Jesse sighed, "What's with my daughter and Dixons? It takes everybody else a week and a half to get her to say five words. It takes you and Merle five minutes to have her climbing all over you and talking up a storm."

"She's got good taste!" Merle had a stupid grin on his face. We'd all been tryin' to keep him far away from Lil Bit an I was surprised he was doin' so good. Merle'd never been a kid person.

"I'm sorry, Uncle knife hand," Lil Bit said real sad.

"Why's that, ankle biter?"

"Cause you can't clap." We'd been with Merle fer twenty minutes. Was really jus me an Jesse off to the side, watchin' Lil Bit boss Merle 'round, makin' him count wit her an us hollerin' at him when he cussed. Lil Bit was sittin' pressed right up 'gainst Merle an tellin' him 'bout the colors.

"Whadda I needa clap fer?"

"So you can sing."

"An whadda I needa sing fer?"

"Cause everybody needs to know Bunny Foo Foo."

"What the fuck is Bunny Froo Froo?"

"Merle!" Jesse an I warned. Lil Bit scolded, "Foo Foo, knife hand. Not froo froo. Pay attention!"

"Fine, ankle biter. Teach me about yer frickin' bunny."

We watched while Arlene took Merle's hand in hers an showed him the song. Jesse said real quiet, "She has him wrapped around her little finger."

"Never seen my brother like that wit no one ever," I murmured to her. She smiled up at me an I put my arm 'round her shoulders an she let me. After a lil bit, Jesse ordered, "Alright, Arlene. It's time for lunch and I'd like you to be outside for at least ten minutes."

"Can Uncle Knife-hand come too? He's almost got Bunny Foo Foo!"

Merle weren' allowed out wit the group. He had his area an he could see an talk to all of us but he had to stay in his space. Herschel an Maggie an Glenn didn' like him out round everybody else. I started to say, "Lil Bit, Merle's gotta stay in here 'cause…"

"'m in time out," Merle interrupted. "But ya can visit 'gain."

"Or we can have lunch with Uncle Merle," Jesse said outta nowhere. "Now come help me get lunch for the four of us. But after lunch, you have to go for a walk and take a nap."

"Can Uncle knife-hand take a nap too?"

"Sorry, ankle biter, got grown up stuff to be doin'. Can' be havin' fun nappin' like ya."

She stuck her tongue out an jumped up to kiss him on the cheek 'fore she went to her momma. When the left, Merle said all quiet, "Ya worried 'bout the problem wit the Governor when it comes to the two a them?"

"Not too worried 'bout Lil Bit. Jesse had her all through winter, her an Johnny went house to house an then were livin' in trees 'cause walkers can' get up in trees. Governor come here, Jesse already plans to send Johnny, Carl, Beth, Lil Bit, an Lil Asskicker out the back. Wants Carol to go but Carol wants to stand her ground wit the rest a us."

"Her cripple brother be in charge a the kids?"

"He's walkin' without crutches now. Gotta limp but he's strong."

"What about ankle biter's momma? Girl not gonna leave wit them?"

"Plans to track 'em if she makes it out. Says she can hold 'em off so the kids can get away."

"An you'd be alright when Governor came in an killed her? Cause he wouldn' do it fast. Know she went wit ya an Rick. Martinez saw her, didn' he? Governor'll know she's yer care. He'd torture her to make ya scream 'cause he knows she won' scream."

I swallowed. "Ain't gonna let nobody near her. We'll kill 'em all."

Merle shook his head an said, "Ain't gonna happen, baby brother. Somebody gonna have to take care a this problem or yer woman's gonna die."


	24. Chapter 24

Since I have a job now (yay!), I don't know that I'll be able to update every Friday. So here's an early update so that if I can't update tomorrow, I won't disappoint my followers, whom I love! I'll try to move my updates to Saturdays instead of Fridays. Thanks for all your support!

Daryl and Arlene were deep asleep. Daryl looked so much younger in his sleep. The frown lines at the corner of his mouth and at his eyebrows fell away. We were in his bed again. He was getting a few hours of sleep before he went on the second watch of the night. I smiled at them. Arlene was sprawled out on her back with her foot in his ribcage and her hand on his face, and he completely didn't care. He was just laying there with his arm around her, his hand reaching out to where I'd been laying moments before. I got up and went to the main area to get some of the hot water Carol had prepared about twenty minutes before for Judith's bottle. I made two cups of hot chocolate from a stash I carried in my bag and grabbed a small hotel sized bottle of vodka before I made my way into Merle's space, where he was pacing from wall to wall.

"Merle," I called out gently, alerting him to my presence.

He turned towards me and stared for a second before he shot me a lecherous grin. I rolled my eyes and informed him, "I'm not here to take advantage of you in the night. I brought you some hot chocolate."

"Don' want no fuckin' hot chocolate," he spat.

"Well, I guess I'll just spike my own with this then." I showed him the small bottle of vodka and he grinned again.

"Well hot damn if ya aren' useful at all." He motioned towards the table that was in the middle of the room. I sat down on the opposite side to him.

"Half and half." I topped his off with half of the bottle and dumped the rest into mine.

"Whatchu bein' so nice to me fer?" he asked suspiciously. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my vodka hot chocolate. It wasn't the best mixture in the world but I knew that half the prison camp would take offense to me slipping Merle some vodka. I didn't answer him right away and I knew it was pissing him off. His eyes were a lot like Daryl's but they didn't have all of the softness in them. Not that they were all bad. There was goodness in there. It was just buried deep. I just stared, studying him in a way I hadn't done since I woke up to him in the prison.

"Gonna answer me, bitch?"

"Thinking about it," I said calmly. "Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold. It doesn't taste as good when it's cold."

He nodded and took a long drink. He informed me, "Don' like it when bitches tell me what to do."

I shrugged. He growled, "Yer a lot calmer now. Since I been here ya've tried to stab me fer sayin' less than that to ya."

I shrugged again and asked, "You really think the Governor is going to kill everybody in here?"

"Ever last one of ya," he answered without hesitation. "Ya'll think handin' that lil black girl over gonna change anythin'? Not a chance. She's the only one he won' kill. He'll trap ya in here an tear all a ya apart. Don' care if yer a kid or an adult. Crippled like the ol' man an yer brother or lil like the ankle biter an the baby. He'll toss the kids to walkers. Make the parents watch 'em. Officer Friendly won' be able to watch. He'll pass out or go black. Ya an Daryl, ya'll be the worst off. Ya'll watch ever second, fightin' them, tryin' to make it stop. Then, they'll take ya away from Daryl, 'cause he'll been holdin' onto ya the whole time in any way he kin.

"They'll tie Daryl up. Probably string him up by the throat so he kin't fight much, but he will once they start in on ya. They'll make ya wish ya were dead, but they ain't gonna let ya die until Daryl's screamin'. Until Daryl's beggin' fer 'em to kill you. Until he's beggin' to do it himself. Anythin' to keep ya outta pain, 'cause that's what they're gonna do to ya. Then, when he's at the point where ya can't take anymore, they'll shoot him in the stomach an untie him. He'll bleed out real slow an he'll turn into one a them. He'll turn into a walker, real slow. An ya will still be alive through all a this. Not much alive, but alive. An he'll tear ya to pieces. The last thing ya see will be my baby brother tearin' ya to pieces."

As he spoke, the images filled my mind. My little girl being torn apart. The baby in the bundle of blankets being tossed out to the walkers. The abuse that my body would go through. Daryl lying next to me on the floor, his blood spreading in puddles around the two of us. Then, Daryl turning. His gorgeous blue eyes tinted with the liquid gold of walkers. His skin cold to the touch and his soft pink lips turned into a snarl as he leaned down towards me, almost like he was going to kiss me. But he wouldn't kiss me. I wouldn't be able to get away and he would tear into me. Even half dead, I'd feel every bite as his teeth ripped at me, spilling my blood and making him howl.

"Ain't sayin' it to fuck wit ya, girly," Merle said softly. "Ain't sayin' it 'cause I wanna make ya scared or tryin' to hurt yer feelins. Sayin' it 'cause my brother cares 'bout ya. Told him once never to care 'bout nobody, but he cares 'bout ya most outta everybody in this group. An I want ya to be prepared if it has to happen. But I ain't gonna let it. Ole Merle is gonna take care a things."

"Merle, you asked me why I brought you hot chocolate and vodka," I said softly. He nodded. "I brought it because I wanted to say thank you and tell you that I know you're not all a bad man. I want to thank you for taking care of Daryl all those years. He's never told me anything about it. Hell, I don't even know his age, but I know that you took care of him. I could see that in his face whenever he talked about you."

"Ya ain't mad at him no more fer leavin' wit me."

"No."

"Ya care 'bout him."

"Yeah."

"Yer both pussies."

"And you're an asshole who is wrapped around my daughter's little finger."

"Whatever."

We sat in silence while I finished my hot chocolate. When I was done, I stood up and said, "Thank you for being honest with me, Merle. About what they'll do if they find us here. I owe you for that."

He grunted and I turned to leave. I was stopped by his voice calling out my name. I turned around and he asked, "Jesse, take care a my brother."

"I will."

I left Merle's area and went up to where Daryl and Arlene was sleeping. I moved to Daryl's side of the bed and curled up to his back. He rolled onto his back and wrapped an arm around me, grunting in his sleep. I rested my head on his chest and reached across him to hold my little girl's hand. I woke up a few hours later to him trying to slide me off him.

"Hey," I mumbled.

"Yer awake."

"Yeah. My pillow moved."

"Ya slept wit me 'stead a near me."

I nodded and sat up with him. He looked down at me and I leaned forward to press my lips to his softly. He stared down at me for a long moment before he leaned forward and kissed me. He whispered, "Yer my woman."

"And you're my man."

"I missed ya. Thought ya were never gonna let me touch ya 'gain. I coulda dealt wit that, ya know. I coulda done it."

"I know you could have."

"But I didn' want to."

"I'm back now." I leaned up and kissed him softly again.

"What changed yer mind?"

"If I die, I don't want to die without you knowing I care about you."

He blushed and looked down at the ground. When he looked back up at me, I could tell he was trying to get the words out and couldn't. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his again. I informed him, "You don't have to say it. I know you care."

"Thanks."

He ran a hand over my face and pushed me back down into the bed. He ordered, "Get some sleep, Jesse. Be back in a few hours. Maybe we can tell yer god forsaken brother that ya decided ya like me again."

"And maybe he'll only punch you in the face a little."


	25. Chapter 25

"Where the fuck is Merle?" My fuckin' brother was gone. An so was that black girl. I knew what he did. He took her like Rick asked him to. He took her to get rid of her an try to save our asses. But I knew what was gonna happen to my brother an I knew I had to go after him an save him. Couldn' be lettin' him be dyin' when I just got him back.

I ran to the first place I could think of. I ran to Jesse. She was down in the tombs, hollerin' fer Merle too. I knew that mornin' she said she wanted to talk to him 'bout finally gettin' out of his cell 'stead of bein' in there all the damn time. She had her back to me when I got up on her an I grabbed her real quick. Her hand came up fast wit a knife an I had to grab her fer she did me some damage.

"Jus me, Jesse, jus me."

"Daryl, have you seen Merle? I've been looking for him for about an hour now and I can't find his dumb ass anywhere."

"Jesse, that's what I gotta talk to ya 'bout. Merle took Michonne to the meetin' wit the Governor. I gotta go after him. I talked to Rick. He knows I'm goin' an I couldn't leave without tellin' ya. Had to say bye 'fore I go."

"You're going to where the Governor is meeting?"

"I gotta. That's where Merle is an that's where I gotta go."

"Daryl…"

"My brother, Jesse. Ya'd do the same fer Johnny an I gotta do it fer Merle. Ya can' be askin' me to stay. Don' be askin' that a me, please. Ya know I'm gonna do my best to come back, right? I'm gonna try my hardest to get back fer ya. But I ain' makin' no promises."

She stared at me fer what felt like forever 'fore she asked, "Do we have to start taking it slow all over again?"

"What?"

"Are you taking us through the steps again? Do we have to start at kissing and work our way up?"

"Guess not but…"

She stood up on those tiptoes an her mouth crashed down on mine real hard. She was everywhere all at once. Her hands were up my shirt an her mouth was on mine an she was pressed up 'gainst me all tight. I tried to slow her down. I said, "Jesse, we didn' get to the third one. We gotta…."

"Daryl, shut up. We're accepting the reality that you might not make it back. I'm not letting you go without some memory of us together. Please. Five minutes."

"Ya need this 'fore ya will let me go?"

"I need this."

I grabbed her then an yanked her shirt up over her head. I didn' know a lot 'bout takin' care of a woman but I was gonna give her what she needed. Seemed like seconds 'fore we were both stripped down to nothin'. Seconds 'fore her lil legs were wrapped 'round my waist an I had her pinned 'gainst that wall. Was tryin' to keep her real quiet an not hurt her but when I got inside her, was like nothin' else that ever happened to me 'fore. God it was good an she was moanin' in my ear an I knew I wasn' gonna last long. I knew I couldn'. There was nothin' inside a me that could hold on when she was whisperin' my name like that, beggin' me not to stop, beggin' me never to stop. Her voice was all high pitched an 'bout to be screamin'. Then her lil hand reached down an started movin' on herself an her breathin' got faster an real light an I could feel her squeezin' 'round me an I just let go wit her. She bit down hard on my left shoulder an I buried my face in her shoulder an we both just slumped 'gainst each other real hard.

"I shoulda done that right," I growled as I pulled outta her an put her down on her feet. She leaned heavy 'gainst the wall an tried to breathe. "I shoulda taken care of ya an been slow an careful wit ya."

"Next time," she whispered. "Next time, you'll get to do whatever you want."

"Might not be a…."

"There will, Daryl. There will be a next time. Go find Merle. Smack him upside the head for me and drag him back here."

"I'll do my best to come back to ya. To ya an to Lil Bit. Don' be comin' after me. Keep yer ass here an do whatever Rick tells ya to do."

I yanked my clothes back on real quick an she kissed me 'fore she pushed me towards the door. She whispered, "Don't say goodbye to Arlene. I don't want her worrying about you while you're gone."

"If'n I don' make it back to ya, ya will tell her that I love her?"

"Always."

"He's still not back."

"You can't go after him, Jesse. We need you here. The Governor could attack at any minute. You have to face the fact that if Daryl isn't back by now it might be because…"

"Don't. Just don't." I glared at Rick. "Daryl Dixon is still alive, and I'm just going out there to hurry him along. He and Merle are tough. Johnny will watch Arlene for me. I know you plan on staying and fighting, but if you have to run, I can track you so don't worry about leaving me behind. I'll find the group. Don't worry about me."

"Jesse, we need all the help we can get here. I can't let you go after him. Michonne said that he told her not to send anyone after him. Now, I know you don't want to face it, but it sounded like Merle was going on a suicide mission and it doesn't sound like Daryl is far behind him."

"Look, Rick, I told my daughter two days ago that that man is her father. She's lost one dad and I'll be damned if she loses another. I'll be back in three hours. I'm going to go say goodbye to my daughter."

I turned and walked away from him. I didn't feel near as calm as I sounded. Daryl was gone. I didn't know if I was still running on the high from the quickie in the tombs or if I was just scared, but I was ready to do something. I couldn't leave him or Merle out there. They were a fucked up part of the family now and I knew that I'd do the same for any member of the group.

On the inside of the block, Johnny was pacing with Arlene on his hip. He was walking a lot better. In Rick's plan, it would be Johnny and Hershel with Beth, Carl, and Arlene. I knew he hated not being part of the action and I knew he'd hate what I was about to tell him. I called out softly, "Johnny."

His head snapped towards mine and his green eyes raked over mine quickly. Without hearing what I had to say, he commanded, "No, Jesse. I know what yer gonna say and the answer is no. Ain't lettin' ya go out there after those rednecks."

"You don't have a choice, Johnny. I just came in here to say goodbye. I'll be back within a few hours. Before it even gets dark."

"Ya can't do this, Jesse! I know ya think ya care 'bout that redneck out there and I know ya didn't get the chance to do this with Eric, but ya can't make up fer it by doin' it now. Ya got Arlene to think 'bout."

"And we have this group to think about."

"Jesse, it's always been us 'fore the rest of the world."

"It can't be like that anymore, Johnny. I'll be back in a few hours."

I took Arlene from him and kissed her on the cheek. She asked, "Gonna get Papa Daryl, Jezze Momma?"

"Yeah, baby girl. I'm going to get Papa Daryl. Be good for Uncle Johnny while I'm gone."


	26. Chapter 26

Happy Sunday!

I said my goodbyes to both of them, Johnny sullen and quiet and Arlene accepting and sweet as always. Then, I borrowed one of the cars and I left. I didn't bother tracking Daryl. I didn't need to. I knew where he'd be. But I didn't expect to find Merle dead as a walker and Daryl collapsed on the ground by his dead brother, the dismembered bodies of walkers scattered across the ground. Some weren't even properly dead, their mouths still moving on armless, legless bodies. I took them out with my machete as I moved towards where Daryl was kneeling in front of his dead brother. I dropped into the soft grass beside him and stared down at Merle. A gunshot to the stomach. Somebody had fuckin' shot Merle in the stomach to end him, knowing what he'd turn into. The knife wound in his head let me know that Daryl had taken care of the problem and my heart ached for him.

"Daryl," I said as softly as I could. His eyes turned to me and I almost wished I hadn't attracted his attention. The blue eyes were rimmed with red and filled with anger and a burning hatred.

"What the fuck are ya doin' here?" he snarled. "Tol' ya to wait back at the prison! Don' ya ever fuckin' listen? Don' ya ever fuckin' think?"

"Daryl, you're okay." It just hit me that he might not have been. That I could have stumbled upon an entirely different scene.

"'course I'm o-fuckin'-kay. 'Couse ya don' give two shits 'bout my brother."

"Daryl, you and I both know that's not true. Come on. I'll help you bury him."

"Don' need yer fuckin' help. Go back to the fuckin' prison!"

"No." I stood up and marched over to the car where I knew there was a shovel in the trunk. I grabbed it and marched back over to Daryl. I demanded, "Where do you want him buried?"

"Can' ya wait jus a fuckin' minute? Why are ya in such a fuckin' rush to put him in the ground? Ain't like he's comin' back! He ain't never comin' back! Only fuckin' family I had left an he's fuckin' gone! Don' ya get that ya stupid bitch? Don' ya fuckin' get it?"

"Daryl, I've seen a lot of people die. I watched my granddaddy put a bullet in my father's head, and then I put a bullet in his head. I lost my fiancé. I almost lost my brother and my baby girl. I know what it is to lose family. Now, you can sit here and hate me all you want, but I'm still going to go dig a fucking hole for your brother, because, even though I don't miss Merle like you do, in that short time that I knew him, he was important to me too."

"Ya didn' know shit 'bout him. Ya didn' know shit an ya didn' care fer shit 'bout him!"

I spun on my heel and stomped away. I began digging into the hard earth stubbornly. I was going to dig that fucking hole, I was going to put that big, stubborn, stupid fucking redneck's walker body into it, I was going to say a quick service, and then I was going to drag the other redneck's stupid ass to my car and drive back to my little girl in time to have dinner and read her a bedtime story. And if the fucking redneck didn't make it easy on me, I'd hit him in his stupid, thick fucking head with a shovel. Soon though, I saw him move out of the corner of my eye. I ignored him and kept digging. I had a neat hole about as deep as my knees but I knew that would never do for Merle. It had to be at least as deep as my chest, if not deeper. Daryl wouldn't stand for anything less, and, honestly, I wouldn't either. Merle may not have been a great man but he was a good man for his brother and he was a good man to my little girl. He did what he did because he thought he was doing what was best for the prison group.

"I'll dig the hole," Daryl said gruffly, refusing to look at me. "Ya shouldn' be doin' it. My brother. I'll do it. Ya should get his body ready or somethin'."

"I can…"

"Fuckin' said I'll do it. Ain' right to make me say shit twice, ya lil fuckin' psycho."

I nodded and took the hand he was extending so he could help me out of the hole. I turned to walk to Merle's body and Daryl's hand circled my arm quickly. He yanked me back to him and grabbed my face roughly. He pressed a quick kiss to my mouth and muttered, "Yer so fuckin' stupid. Ya know that, right?"

"Dig the hole. You and I have to be the ones to tell Arlene that 'uncle knife hand' won't be coming back."

"Go fuckin' take care of the body."

I nodded and made my way over to kneel next to Merle's body. I could see the differences the walker virus had made to his body. His skin was gray and mottled. He was only hours turned and he already looked softer, less like the hardened man I'd shared hot chocolate vodka with. His death wound was in the middle of his chest. The Governor knew what he was doing when he killed him and I felt my heart break for the man. I smoothed my hand over his sparse hair and smiled softly, knowing he'd never allow it if he were alive. He'd smack my hand away and make a lewd comment about Daryl not pleasing me right and him having to do it.

I stared down into his eyes. They were once so much like Daryl's. They were harder and meaner, somewhat less intelligent, but they had kindness in them. The anger that he put forth as on the first day I met him was always there, like it was in Daryl's. He showed it more and he didn't try to get along with people like Daryl did. But there was kindness in Merle. I'd seen that when he held Arlene and laughed let her call him 'uncle knife-hand.' I saw it when he drank hot chocolate with me, and warned me what would happen to me if the Governor wasn't taken care of. The virus had cut through his eyes, yellowing and reddening them. Blood vessels had popped and blood pooled in the corner of one of his eyes.

I brushed the dirt away from his face and used my hand to shut his eyes. I buttoned his coat over the angry red smear running from his chest and crossed his arms over his chest. I went to the car again to get a tarp out of the back. While Daryl dug, I wrapped him in the blue tarp carefully, struggling to move his dead weight. Daryl finished the hole and lifted Merle's body over his shoulder. He deposited him in the hole and I asked, "Should we say a few words?"

"Ain' no god listenin' to us, Jesse. All I got to say was Merle was my brother an he took care of me. We took care of each other. All I had growin' up. Now I got a new family, but I won' be forgettin' 'bout my brother. Won' never forget 'bout him."

I nodded and we started burying Merle. It took us half an hour to push the dirt back into the hole in the ground. Then, Daryl got on his bike and I got in my car and he followed me back to the prison.


	27. Chapter 27

BUM BUM BUM! Final chapter, ladies and gents. Keep your eye out for Building Family, coming soon to a fanfic near you.

She was packin' Lil Bit's stuff an tryin' to make a game outta it so Lil Bit wouldn' be so scared. She kinda sang, "We're playing hide and go seek. Except more fun. Because you" She poked Lil Bit in the stomach an Lil Bit giggled. "are going to be hiding with Uncle Johnny and Papa Daryl and I are going to find you."

Even with all the shit goin' on with Woodbury, hearin' her say 'Papa Daryl' made me grin like a fool. I was that lil girl's dad. Nobody else. They were my family an I was gonna take care of 'em. Even though I hadn' gotten to take care of Jesse right an proper since I fucked her 'gainst the wall of the tombs. Weren' right that I did that but soon as Woodbury was taken care of, was gonna fix her up right. Let her know she weren' jus some quick fuck 'cause I was leavin' an she might not be seein' me 'gain. When we took care of Woodbury, I was gonna look into gettin' an office space fer me, her, an Lil Bit to be sleepin' in. Maybe even be getting' Lil Bit her own room, when she was old 'nuff. Weren' gonna be runnin' Lil Bit off jus so me an Jesse could have some fun.

"Alright, baby girl, give me and Papa Daryl hugs before you go play with Uncle Johnny and Aunt Beth and Herschel and Carl and Judith, okay?"

Jesse picked Lil Bit up an groaned somethin' awful. I moved towards 'em to check an make sure she was alright an she jus waved me off, sayin, "Arlene is just growing like a weed, aren't you, baby girl? Before too long, Papa Daryl won't be able to call you Little Bit anymore, huh?"

Lil Bit giggled an wrinkled her nose. Jesse carried her over to me an I wrapped my arms round both my girls. Jesse leaned into me an Lil Bit wrapped her arms round my neck. I said, "Ya gotta behave fer yer uncle, 'kay, Lil Bit? Ya can' be hollerin' an yellin' or nothin'. Ya gotta be good an quiet til we come find ya, okay?"

"What will you be doing until then?" she demanded.

"Be countin' an stuff, 'course," I lied. I hated lyin' to her. Jesse knew it an grinned up at me, easy fer her to be smilin' at a time like it was. She knew with all her heart that we were gonna beat Woodbury, an if she believed it, I believed it.

I hugged them both an kissed Lil Bit on her cheek. Jesse ordered, "Go talk to Carol. I'll take her out to Johnny and Herschel. Carol already said goodbye to Judith. You're her best friend. Go comfort her."

"Love that ya ain't the jealous type."

"I love that you don't give me any reason to be."

She kissed me quick an took Lil Bit outside. I looked up to find Johnny starin' at me. He still didn' like that Jesse an I were together 'gain. Liked it even less that she was lettin' me kiss on her an call Lil Bit my own. But least he was respectin' me an my ability to help with Lil Bit. He didn' say one time that I weren' makin' the right calls with Lil Bit an, even if he hated bein' put out with the children an the old men, he was gonna do it an I knew he was gonna do it right.

I didn' remember much of the first part of the battle. Didn' remember the fightin' or nothin', but I remembered Jesse runnin' to me afterwards, screamin' that we did it. Happy as could be that it was taken care of. She hugged Carol an Maggie an Glenn an then jumped on me an kissed me hard, tellin' me we had a home an we chased that one eyed fucker back to where he came from. Then, I remembered the look on her face when she heard that Carl shot a boy in fronta Lil Bit. Johnny promised that she didn' see it, didn' even hear it. He promised that Lil Bit didn' know nothin' 'bout it.

I kissed her 'fore I went out to take care of the Govenor an she made me promise to try to make it back on time fer dinner. She had all the faith in the world that we were gonna win, that we were gonna take care of shit an have a home fer Lil Bit. So I left with her kiss in my mind, but it was gone when I saw all those dead bodies. Taken down by a man that swore to protect them an take care of them. Thank God that girl in the truck was still alive. Karen or whatever her name was. Couldn' imagine hidin' under Jesse's dead body so someone wouldn' kill me. Shit, Jesse died, I'd kill every fucker 'round.

But the Karen chick that bout near scared the shit outta me took me back to the town an we gathered up all those old people an children an a few other people round Jesse an Johnny's age that were with that group found their way into the prison. We got back 'fore dinner an Jesse was waitin' in the yard on me with Lil Bit on her hip. I barely let my bike stop 'fore I was on 'em. I hugged 'em both an Jesse nodded towards the school bus pullin' in behind us. She asked, "What's that?"

"Jus some children an old people. Coupla young folks. Lil Bit will have some people near her own age to play with now."

"Awesome." Jesse leaned up an kissed me real quick. I knew I was blushin, havin' her kissin' on me in fronta stranger. But then she whispered, "I might have found an office for you, me, and Arlene. I've been helping Carol get set up all day but maybe when things settle we can start moving in."

"Should settle quicker with all these new people helpin' out. Maybe we can get the fence set up 'gain an…."

"Oh my God, Jesse! Is that you?"

Jesse froze at the sound of the voice an I turned to look at a young couple gettin' off the bus. Girl had real long blonde hair an the boy had fire red hair. They were starin' at us like we were the fuckin' strangers but I knew it weren't both of us. Just me. Jesse's arms tightened round Arlene like she thought she was gonna lose her.

"Is that my little Eddie?" the woman cried out.

"Don' know what yer talkin' 'bout woman?" I hollered. "Get on in there with the rest of 'em."

"Daryl, stop for a second," Jesse said but her voice didn't sound right. Was real scared an quiet. She explained, "That's Eric and Kyra, and Arlene's middle name is Edith, and they're going to take our little girl away."


End file.
